it alreday 2 years

i have not come here for 2 years.of course ,my english improve a little,but it's still very poor especailly my spoken and written english. sometimes i think i just need some place to practise ,but untill now i haven't found a suitable palace .

 i decide to write a diary every week in order to do some help .my life now is a little lonely . in a few days comes the 7-up day, the traditional chinese valentines' day. you can see many couples are now showing their lovness. Some times you will think being alone is ashame and a waste of the lively youngster time.

I need to love someone ,that will make my mood high and low. Or ,i will feel life is like a saltless dish.

And i need money now ,my next season's rent is due to next month .I still have no money.I have no ideas how can i can get the enough money to pay my rent, i can't borrow so much form my friends ,they are all poor.

I can see my life now is a trash of rubbish.I can not even balance my own life,i can see no happy in the near future .

The old people say ,young men need to learn persistence even in the bad situation . i just feel tired and always need to pretend i am very happy and satisfied.I just don't want the people who love me worried and the people depise me happy.