crackerjackass

Dear Arke,

       I miss you already. It’s been a hard time for all of us to bear the pain because of  this tragedy. If I had the chance to see you again, I would cook all your favorite meals, I would wash all your clothes, I would buy you voltron everyday, I would give you all the time to use the computer. I would do all of those things like the way before. But those are never gonna happen again.

            If I had the chance to see you again, maybe in after life if there really is,I would glad to do those things I hadn’t done to you before. I would prepare coffee for you everyday. I would buy you a gin Kapitan (who cares if they’ll call me a kunsintidor) and I would cook Bicol express for you as your tampluts.I would help you court the girl you really wanted and I would force her to marry you if she would play hard to get. I would burn a dvd of your favorite anime series, I would make a collection of all your favorite music. I would never complain when you beat your drum that hard. I would be glad to hear you play your drums again. (I am so sorry because I used to scold you whenever you play your drums because it was so loud and so wild it was like you wanted to destroy your instrument. And last of all I would hug you everyday.

If only I knew you would leave us that way, I should have done all those things that would made you happy. But it’s too late. Now you are gone, and gone forever. It’s so sad I didn’t even had the chance to say goodbye and tell you how much I care for you my dear brother.  Forgive your sister for I didn’t forced you to come home and never would have worked on that hellish-like Bounty Trash Company. I am so sorry I thought you were just fine in Bulacan. Sorry if I am being so corny. It’s just that I’m really sad you left us like that. How are we going to celebrate happy moments (if there would be any) when you’re not here to share it with. It will never be the same again because  we’re missing something. It’s really hard to lose a brother whom you had grown up with. When you were born I was there beside you trying to be a good sister to look after you. Until you had grown up and had your own friends, I was still there. When you’re sad I had sensed it, when you’re hungry I had felt hunger too, and when you’re happy then I am also happy.

When I grow old I would show your pictures to my grandchildren. I would tell them “this is my brother”. And my grandchildren would say “lola, why does he look so young?” and then thoughts would come again about the memory that was full of happiness that the inigo family had shared together (with nanay and tatay and all of us siblings). Arke wherever you are now I keep praying and really hoping that you are fine. Just wait for us there.  I guess it will take a long time for me to stay here because as the Good Book says “bad people will live longer”. Don’t worry Arke we are going to seek justice for you no matter what. All those who are responsible . God knows who you are. Just wait for His vengeance.

Now I understand that life on earth is not always in constant. There is always a balance just like all the living things on this planet. When you feel like you’re always in bliss,then you should begin to worry because you never know with just a blink of an eye all of a sudden all will be gone. And all the good things will be replaced with sadness and extreme pain you wouldn’t even feel numbed at all.

           Arke I will never ever forget you. You are a good boy, a loving brother, a thoughtful uncle to his niece and nephews, a loyal friend, a good son, and a good brother-in-law, an obedient grandson, and a talented one. But you were not aware of it.That you have the talents. You didn’t even know that I have enjoyed reading your articles, blogs, and poems. They are so cool. You were not ashamed to tell something about yourself, your angst, your frustrations in life. I like those comic parts where it have made me laugh. Maybe you are an inborn comedian. And those which they show you are not a perfect person. You’re just a human being who are flawed and I am proud of you for being such an honest person. Unlike most people who writes only to impress. Or boast something about themselves that they know a lot of things.

Arke thank you for all the things you have done to me. You were always there to help me. You were always willing and always ready whenever I have favor for you to do. Thank you for taking care of Dada, for washing the dishes whenever I feel lazy, for washing our clothes when I didn’t feel well. For taking the grocery list in the market. For giving me a cellphone. Thank you for everything for lending me money even though you knew that I would never pay you and even though you’re running out of it. When I, the older one, should be the one to support you. If I would write all those things you’ve done to me, then I would be making a novel.You will always be our "Daddy brother Arke" who were always had a treat whenever you came home from work.

       Because of your death, I am completely devastated.

Till we meet again ,

Your loving sister

 beads

P.S. I don’t want to hear anymore “it’s-God’s-will” or “everyone-of- us-are -gonna  -die- soon- it's- just -a-matter- of- who- will- leave -first” crap like that. It sickens me. I don’t need  advice. I need to be heard to ease the anxiety I am feeling inside.

“Natay ni Arken?”(Archie’s dead?”)

These were the three words my sister Minet said to the other line. She was talking to Hep, my 3rd brother, who was in a hospital in Bulacan to see what had happened to  my brother Archie.

Four hours before, an HRM representative called on my phone telling me that my brother had had an accident and my parents are needed to go there as soon as possible.  We kept asking her how’s Archie’s condition was but she refused to tell. She said that we should talk to the doctor. I really didn’t know what to think about that time. I was afraid to know the truth but i wanted to know if he’s okay or what. After four hours of waiting and we’re still hoping that everything will be fine. The news finally came. Archie was dead.

I was crying and trembling and words kept coming out from my mouth. “It’s not true! It’s not true! It’s not true! You’re not dead! You said you’re going to come home soon. It’s not true!”

But it’s true. My dear brother Archie’s dead. His whole body was caught in the machine. He died in a chicken factory ( of Bounty Fresh Chicken). It was a very horrible death we will never get over even if we find justice for those responsible of his untimely demise.

Please pray for my dear brother’s soul.