you mean a lot to me

I did many Chinese diaries for you, but no English one, as I cannot express my feeling very well by E. I can remember when I joined here for several days, you asked my contact, but we seldom chat. As you are a friend of our manager, we always have dinner together when I work overtime. No special feeling during the past almost one year, I was pregnant after I joined here months later. And then was busy with my job, global ERP training , daily work, take care my expecting baby, take care myself…. All things went well. Then I had my maternity leave for five months. After I get back to work middle of last year, our office was in a schedule for new decoration, my working table was reallocated to your department, I sat in front of you. Just a few talking with you when the work was needed, and as I had a baby I get off work on time every day. We never eat together. One working day of the beginning of this year, you asked the password for my diary space, I asked you why are you concerning what I write in my diary? You told me you like me. I was shocked suddenly. I cannot believe. And I get back to you: are you kidding? You replied: no, I am serious. May I ask you to be my GF? I feel nervous when I saw these words, I was shy to speak anything, and feel a high rate heartbeat. I try to calm down & continue joking: don’t tell me it’s true, I am in a marriage danger, I cannot stand the temptation. You still told me you are serious.

In the first week I don’t dare to keep eye contact with A, quite nervous, thinking this question day and night. I cannot stop thinking of him. A week later, I wrote some feelings in a web forum. My husband happened browsed that, and we had a quick discussion, it was ended up with nothing as I really didn’t do anything with A.  A wanted to date with me, and I refused. One day I want to relax, this feeling keep me going to crazy, we suggest have a dinner together and I would like to make it clear face to face. We talked a lot, I was not willing to leave. You kissed me and we said goodbye. It’s the first and also the last time we sit down face to face. All things seem are clear now, we know we are under the moral control.