Nighty´s Blog >.< by Nighty | English, baby! Blogs

loneliness...

Nighty — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 12:20:58 GMT

loneliness...

it's weired. sometimes you have so many people around you, but you still feel the loneliness inside of you...

You want to say what you think, but you are also afraid that nobody will listen to you. Or that they may don't understand you. Or that they want to leave your side because they think you are kind of crazy. every feel something like that?

At the end, the truth is not interesting to anyone anyway. Be honest, the gossips are always much more important to the people, right? guessing around, feeling better after talking bad about someone, maybe one of your best friend but who cares. It's really sad how breakable some friendships are. (If you can call somthing like this "friendship")

Of course, I believe that there are exceptions too. I admire these people, really. To tell the truth, I also envy them.

It's hard that nobody can understand what you are thinking, it's dangerous that maybe some people just want to take advantage of you, it's tiresome to look for a real friend over and over again. It's maybe better to just be alone, but that would make me even more lonely, right?

And there is of course the thing called "love". If it's hard to find a honest friend, how hard is it to find the true love?

It's difficult to be always happy. Do you know the film called "pursuit of happiness" with the main actor Will Smith? a great film, and so, so damn true...

Huges Nighty >.<

about living and being happy...

Nighty — Sun, 24 May 2009 12:15:40 GMT

about living and being happy...

somehow... my life just now seems to be so boring. There is no action, no love life (I think I will write about it later... It´s always complicated if it´s about love isn´t it?), no adventures. I mean, the biggest events in this week was my physik test and the family meeting.

I think something should change...

But well, I´m happy. There is nothing I can complain of. The school is stressful and I still want to lose weight and to stop my growth- everything is like it always should be and I´m still the same person I was. It´s easy. It´s cool.

Is this happiness?

should we love our lifes and live it without worries and be happy because we don´t need to live it with worries? (wow, that´s a confusing sentence isn´t it? =) ) Should we be satisfied with everything we have?

But on the other site... come on, that life would be so boooooooring! I´m 16 and not 60. I can change everything in my life in one second and that´s why my life is so exciting, right? I want more challenges... I want to see the world. Damn, I´m young and I want experience everything!

... but as always, saying is easier than doing.

wish me luck :D

Huges

Nighty >_< (I`M BAAAAACK :))

life and happiness

Nighty — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:52:45 GMT

life and happiness

you know, they always say that you should fulfill your dreams. they say that you will be happy if you are sucessful, if not, you should just work harder.

but they never tell us what we should fulfill... what should be our dreams? what means happiness? Or just: how can we be happy??

is it money? love? power? or knowledge? family? friends? I mean, you can look for it your life long, but at the very end, you maybe find the wrong one. What happens if your dreams come true and you are still not happy at all?? they never told us that in school. Just work hard and be ambitious, always be the best one...

is that really the key to my happiness??? somehow I doubt it...

But if you ask me: what´s your idea of happiness? I can just say: I don´t know. I have no idea. How should I? I was a good kid all my life long. I have always tried to do the right thing, be rational and hard-working. because my family always says that it will bring me happiness one day. And I believe that my family just wants the best for me, so there is no reason to question it.

But now I´m questioning it...

I´m late...!

Nighty — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 06:53:49 GMT

I´m late...!

Oh I´m late, I`m late, I know!! I feel a bit like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland right now. I don´t wanna miss a single thing in my life, so it´s absolutely no-go for me to be late. I always the one who is 5 or 10 minutes earlier and the one who will call for a single minute for my late arrival- which, I have to admit, almost never happen-.

My opinion is: my life is already too short to do all the things I wanna do, so why should I wast more time if I can enjoy it? I don´t want to miss a thing and I think it´s absolutly impudent to be late. It´s not so difficult to keep a appointment or to observe the deadline, it´s all about planning, which is more or less: thinking about what you want to do. But I guess, some people fail already on "thinking" before "doing", so it´s no suprise that punctuality gets so unimportant in our society now.

It´s not just the punctuality which I misse more and more, it´s the trust. How should I trust somebody, if she/he cann´t even come in the right time? It´s obvious that this person didn´t see me as someone important and so he doesn´t care about my opinion about his lateness.

You may asking me why I´m so fixated on this. The answer is maybe easy if you know me and my family good enough- because of my mom, who always come one hour later than expected. no question, I love her a lot, but I really dislike, or even HATE her carelessness about punctuality.

anyway, enjoy your day!

>3< Nighty

waiting for... ?

Nighty — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:05:42 GMT

waiting for... ?

Sitting here and drinking my green tee with honey...the PC is on (as always) and I´m waiting... for what?

I don´t really know, I should learn history right now, because we have a test on thursday... But nooooo, I don´t want to... It´s so bored... and I prefer to wait... just wait...

see how slow time pass by if you do nothing? I mean, try not to move at all for 10 minutes and at the same time, look at your watch...

tick, tack, tick, tack... try not to fall in sleep ... tick, tack, tick, tack

really boring, I know... even more boring than learning history.

ALL RIGHT, I have found it: my motivation to learn history... It at least more fun then waiting :D

yeah... I know, I´m a very weired child... please let me be ^^

huges, ya Nighty @.@

bored,,,

Nighty — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 13:39:53 GMT

bored,,,

today was so bored. We have christmas break and so I´m always at home. My friends are on vacations know, so there are nobody at home. my family celebrate christmas too, but there are a lot of problemes, so always when we have dinner together, they argue heatedly and destroy the whole christmas feeling. And at the end, they will be mad at eachother and then they go to bed.

Mannooo, I just wanna have once a peacful christmas break...!!

So every time when they scream at eachother, I stay in my room and read a book or watch TV. It doesn´t help at all... but I don´t want to be involved in their mindless discussion...

but it could be worse, right?? I mean, I love my family and I´m sure they love me, so there is nothing to worry about... they are just hotheaded, that´s all...

we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year!!

Kisses

Nighty +.+

christmas party... >.<

Nighty — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 06:04:46 GMT

christmas party... >.<

Jesus, damn! I need a new camera for christmas.
It´s so stupid, there are so many situations where I want to photograph, but... well, no camera, no pics. I believe that it´s god´s punishment for me, because I have drunk alcohol on a school trip. Although it´s my first time, cann´t he just forget it and forgive me?? I know I was ( a little bit) stupid, but well, nobody is perfekt and I can make mistakes too... usually I´m not such a religiouse person, but this is not just a coincidence.
So pleaseeee... I wanna have a new camera for christmas, since my last one is broken. (someone who was drunk sat on it... R.I.P.) grant my wish and I would never do it again, I promise!

I have made cookies with my friends today, it was so much fun! I ate so many cookies, I think I would need a diet tomorrow ^^ The Sleepover-party by JR was awsome too, although we haven´t watched so many movies and I have only slept about 3 hours. I just didn´t want leave EM and AD alone... Not just because I was nice, but I also wanted to know what they are talking about. I just couldn´t sleep because I was worried. Why? Good question, I don´t know. Jealousy and curiosity I guess. I know, I know, I was probably a pain in their asses, or at least in AD´s ass, haha... but well, I don´t care what he think about me anyway and I don´t want to know it.

ok... I wish all my friends a merry christmas etc etc... and a happy new year etc. etc... and I hope I will get healthy soon.

*cough cough*

wish you a merry Christmas !!!

with love your nighty >_<#

I have got an A+ in german... O_o

Nighty — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:43:47 GMT

I have got an A+ in german... O_o

Seriously, I´m not kidding...

I have got a A+ for my german exam!! On the first one I have got a F (a F- to be honest :S) and now an A+... I swear, I´m not lieing. It´s almost a miracle. No, actually IT IS a MIRACLE. It proofs again that if you work hard enough, you can get everything you want. The teacher said that I will get a B or C in my school report. yepii :D

But am I happy? I donn´t know... I´m still depressiv and sad and my head is still aching... What´s wrong with me? I always want to get an A in german and I have worked so hard for it... Why am I not happy?? I should laugh and dance around like a idiot. I should scream out loud and go out with my friends again, like I always do after a good thing happens.

maybe I´m just tired... That´s must be the answer...

well... wish you all the best, who ever you are :)

huges

Nighty Z.Z

Chinese vs. Austrian

Nighty — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:57:14 GMT

Chinese vs. Austrian

As you know, I´m actually a Austrian. I mean, I have an Austrian pass and I can speak german and I´m living in Vienna. I´m going to school here and my friends are here and my family is here... everything I love is here.

On the other side, I would never be an Austrian. I´m a chinese girl and I also have great memories of my childhood in China, Jinan. I lived in Shanghai and I also have an apartment there. I can speak/write chinese and the most important thing is- I look like a chinese. Of course, my parents are chinese too...

So who am I ? I cann´t really tell...

It´s also very comfusing for me, because the traditions and culture are so different. Sometimes I don´t really know what´s right and what´s wrong. Of course I have my own rules of doing things, but that´s not what I´m talking about. It´s the society in which I don´t really fit in. Or maybe I don´t really fit in the society??

It´s also hard to think about my future. Do I really want to stay here? Or should I go back? maybe I can also go to a new country like USA or England, in which I can start a new life again... It´s so much trouble and a lot of work...

If I close my eyes and ask myself who I´m and what I want, I cann´t answer because I have no idea.

jaja... that´s my life... complicated as always :S

Nighty >.<

german exam, cancer presentation and red pepper spray...

Nighty — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:22:06 GMT

german exam, cancer presentation and red pepper spray...

Who said once that my life is boring?? Oh right, what was me :D ok, now I´m writting this to proof that I have made a mistake... My life is not boring at all!

I have written my second german exam today... just if you don´t know, I have gotten a reeeaaaally bad mark on my last exam, so i hope, no I pray to god, that I have done it well this time. I have learned a lot and it would be so unfair if I get a bad mark again. Not to mention that my mom would kill me. And I mean it, she would KILL me... I know it´s annoying always talking about school, but it´s really important for me! I know, I don´t have a social (private) life at all and I´m just a geek. But hey, at least a geek with bad marks.

Next week I have a math exam and few days later a latin exam and then a physics test and than a france exam and and and... after all the troubles, we will have christmas!! juhuuu :)

I was on a cancer presentation today afternoon. It was pretty interesting... well, to tell you the truth, I overslept a small part of it (I swear, I only slept for 10 min.!! One of the professors has such a low voice and... it was like brain washing. I´m also only a human and I have learned a lot for german yesterday) , but the big part was interesting. Especially the part with the immune system.

Red pepper spray- my mom gave me that today. Somehow I can understand her, I´m like a big magnet, which always attracts weirdos. maybe I´m just too nice ^^

well well... I´m going to sleep now, good night!

Nighty >.<

WORK

Nighty — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:12:29 GMT

WORK

Ohhhh I´m so stressed out!! I have a german test tomorrow and I know that i´m gonna have a bad mark :S

I was never that good in german. I mean I have started to learn it since only 5 years. I´m creative and I can write good essays, but I´m gonna make mistakes and then the teacher will say: Helen, it´s a great story (essay), but I´m sorry you have made too many grammar mistakes again. OHHH I HATE SCHOOL

My best friend Anam failed in the latin exam and she has to repeat the class. She said she will change school because if she take the class in our school again, she would be in the class of her younger sister and that´s really embarrasing. I can understand her and her feelings, but it´s sooo sad that she is gonna leave our class. I would be very lonely and I would miss her a lot. I can just hope that we can still stay in contact if she is in another school. It would be horrible if I cann´t see her ever again.

I have cried a lot today... my eyes are still red and I look like a tomato!! >.<'

It´s hard to be a student and it´s harder to be a good student. (Un)furtunately I have to be a good one. what am I talking :) I believe there are many good students out there and they all have a more difficult life than mine. Life is unfair, live it and win or let it be and lose. You can never reach your dreams if you just sit around. Fightspirit, that´s what I need.

sooo, I think I´m gonna learn german now. bye~~

Crybaby Nighty ^.^

there was a crooked man...

Nighty — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:13:21 GMT

there was a crooked man...

it´s a british ( I think ) nursery rhyme...

I don´t really understand why, but I think it has a special style and i loooove it.

there was a crooked man,

who walked a crooked mile.

He found a crooked sixpence

upon a crooked stile.

He bought a crooked cat,

who caught a crooked mouse.

And they all lived together

in a little crooked house...

cute isn´t it >.<

all right, good night children ^.^

Nighty