My Blog by holly&honey | English, baby! Blogs

i feel warm, thanks!

holly&honey — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:09:43 GMT

i feel warm, thanks!

a week ago, i wrote some words here, saying how i was depressed and sad because i lost my baby again. today,when i read the beautiful lines some lovely friends sent me, i felt warm. it makes things easier. thanks to all! i will be stronger, and i think now i am strong!i will be myself again. no--- i will be a better me tomorrow. i will!

it really hurts!

holly&honey — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:18:42 GMT

it really hurts!

It’s the hardest time for me and my husband. I feel nothing but hurt. It’s the worst day ever for a woman like me, who has been so eager to be a mother. Three months ago, I thought I was the happiest woman in the world, because I was going to have my own baby. It was the best thing ever that had happened to us. In that period of time, nothing would be difficult for me to take, nothing would let me down, nothing …

Now, I have to face the third abortion of my life. I lost my baby again. I don’t know how many women in the world have had this nightmare, how many women have to undergo this loss, but it really hurts, to me.

I don’t know whether it is because I have too much happiness, so they have to take some away from me.

I can’t remember how many times I told myself ---when you lost, tell yourself : “there is less to lose”. But still, I can’t get rid of the feeling that I am a loser, totally a loser.

How people wish time would go backward. But this time I wish time would go faster, taking my hurts far far far away…

i'm in a bad mood!

holly&honey — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:10:44 GMT

i'm in a bad mood!

are you happy today?you are?how lucky you are!

because i am not.

i'm in a bad mood today!and i have been in a bad mood for a couple of weeks.i'm in a frustrating situation. i feel i have been defeated by life.i don't want to accept it. but at the same time. i hate myself because i cannot excuse myself for my weakness.i should be strong.i'm much luckier than the people who lost their homes, families, even their lives.maybe i want too much. i don't deserve that much.i should get to know myself better,try to know what i really am. don't blame and complain!keep the words in mind: you are only one, but still you are one; you cannot do everything,but still you can do something; that you cannot do everything will not make you refuse to do that something well! carry on!carry on!carry on!!!!!!!!!!!

what a busy weekend!

holly&honey — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:07:50 GMT

what a busy weekend!

i worked the whole weekend, and so did my colleagues. we were totally exausted. because i was worried about the whole meeting, i couldn't have a good sleep, but i had to get up early. to make things worse, in the morning, i couldn't enjoy my breakfast, tired, sleepless, nervous, bad weather, i finished the work. thank God, we made it, although there were some pities. i got relief. i told myself: you have to be strong! there is no one you can depend on all the time. if there is ,there is only you, yourself!you are only one, but still you are one!

i miss my doggies!

holly&honey — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:43:39 GMT

i miss my doggies!

i love puppis very much! altogether i had once owned three puppies, which were very cute. i kept them at very different times, one when i was small, the other two when i grew up. it was great fun for me to play with the little dogs. i never felt lonely while they were around. or maybe it was during the time when i didn't learn loneliness.they were very friendly and the best company ever to me. but unluckily, you need a license to raise a pet dag in a city. and the license costs a lot. so we had to send them to relatives in the countryside, where food is not good enough. i've never seen them ever since, because i don't think i can handle the pain that i cannot take them back home. i miss them very much, but what i have now is only the memory..."Yellow","Arnold"&"Patton"

if only we didn't need sleep!

holly&honey — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:29:32 GMT

if only we didn't need sleep!

sometimes,i just think that it is a waste of time to sleep.if people didn't have to go to sleep,that means we would have 1/3 longer life, and that means we can do more of what we like to do. lately i've been feeling time is really flying and may be the only thing that is out of control for ever. we necer expect time to stop. it never comes back for us.and we can never return to the past.i read a sentence the other day,which made me think a lot about my life: there is never a way TO happiness, because the happiness is just on the way...i don't know if i have got the correct translation...maybe it tells us that we should cherish every minute we are living right now. we are on the way, and happiness is there,together with us, a careful heart needed to find it.

live every minute...or i should say...live every minute when we are awake...sincerely.

oooh, if only we didn't need sleep!

will you be happier in 20 years?

holly&honey — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 03:22:30 GMT

will you be happier in 20 years?

we always complain about the annoying affairs in our daily life, and we never stop thinking that life will be easier and happier some years later. so we are always looking forward to that day coming soon. but unfortunately, it hardly turns out to be true. when problem No.1 is solved, problem No.2,No3...will come to us one by one. Maybe that's what life is. you can't tell whether you'll be happier in 20 years.what you can feel is not future, but present.what you can own is only present. so don't beleive in the faith that you'll be happier after... you should let yourself happy right now. enjoy every bit of present. that's just the "PRESENT" from God.

i have great fun with Ebaby!

holly&honey — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 19:43:18 GMT

i have great fun with Ebaby!

i'm a newcomer to Ebaby.

Frankly, i'm not the kind of person who likes chatting on line with strangers.Most of the time, i talk to my friends on the phone or in person.But recently,i was left home alone a lot. suddenly, i find i need someone to talk to,so badly. since i need talking, why don't i talk to people in english? so i found Ebaby. i play games,talk about life,and share different ideas from other cultures. All this is done with people around the world. it's cool.i no longer feel lonely. i'm not alone any more.

thank you, Ebaby!

i have to carry on!

holly&honey — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:02:25 GMT

i have to carry on!

i've got a new job lately. the head of my department is a middle-aged woman, who is mean to most people. she is always unsatisfied with what i've done. i really don't understand. she seems to be that kind of person, who nerver cares about others. i don't remember how many times i tell myself: you have to be strong! but there is always some chance that i will nearly lose control. i can't help wondering if it is a right thing that i changed my job. do i have the courage to undergo all this? i don't want to be a person who complains a lot. i wnat to be a person who is grateful to life. i should be a person who is grateful to life.