about Becoming Jane

Just watched "Becoming Jane" a moment ago. I don't know how to describe my feeling. I should not watch it this night. My eyes are full of water , it made them red and turgid, and my apex of nose. I don't know if that word right?---- I mean turgid.
I am going to classroom and study this night. So, I must wait them, reinstate. Suth a bother thing!
The main actores in Jane's story always have a happy ending. I know why this moment. That adulterate sad emotion. There are so many things can't turn out as we like. Always. That's the real world.
I also envy Jane. She could enjoy in her own novel and she could write that so humorous and lively stories, beautiful works, as a woman, in that time.
Becoming Jane. Yes, how wonderfur and strong sentence! to every girl and yonug lady. No good love, we can try to become Jane.

...I can't stop writing now, I can't. Just want to write more and more.

I always be so idle and negligent. I know I can do better. I could. But I always don't try my best. This morning (may be afternoon, I don't remember) I read a essay about Lin Yutang's childhood by Lin. He writed much of his older sister. I know, many girls like her, have a wealth of tought and diligent and hope to study in good campus. But they can't. Because they are girls. There were always many clever girls can't study though they have such a big desire at that time. Today, still have lots of that girls in somewhere, as some countryside. They even don't know what "Hi" mean. But I could know more and more just if I like. But I did not give my all effort. 
Stop here. Must do my task assigned this evening. Must do. That is the least I can do today.

Forgot to say, Be myself and don't mind others' sight. Just be myself and do what I should do. That's all.