Missing a friend

It is funny how things turn out sometimes 
In a blank of an eye you feel like you can't handle anything anymore 
Like you have had enough of all this shitty life even things are normal to others but for you, you feel like something is missing, it could be a precious thing or a memory or it could be someone to hold on to, someone to be free talking to
And I've never had that person, every time I try to open up to someone I have this feeling they would never support me, they would never be friends with me, they would never accept me the way I'm, they would never appreciate my jokes.. my stories.
I've failed so many times trying to be friend with someone, so I created my own little world where I could be happy without judgments, without worries, without failure.