Miss_U

Heyyyyyyyyyy, dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Do you know sometimes it is really hard to say the true feeling ?

Maybe , you and I have the same situation , my close friend .

We are now far from each other . I am not so interested in your story cause I have the same stories .

You asked me to tell you more specifically about him . I don’t want to remind of him anymore .

Your fragile heart is easily broken by a person .

Do you know , my heart used to be like yours?

I just could give you some advice and sing for you some songs to make you laugh and feel better .

But there is one thing I am sure that after our conversation , when u are alone , u will cry and ur head is full of confused feeling and thinking .

But , dear

We are now not schoolgirls who could enjoy life without any mature thought for ourselves and our family as well .

Now we are at the age of 21 , 22 , should live better and fight against difficulties in life .

To live is to fight !

It also means u have to fight with ur self .

You wish you were me , less thoughtful .

Do you know that when laughing , my mind is fighting with my tears ?

Tears is nothing if u don’t know how to stand up .

Tears makes people weaker .

Instead of crying , why not smile ?

Don’t think that the others understand you because they love you .

Sometimes , they love us by a very selfish emotion .

If not so , they hold us so tightly not because  they really love us but they want to beat other people .

Don’t think that their smile is always sincere from the bottom of their heart .

When seeing you blame that person , I could do nothing but listen and feel sympathize for you . Your hurt became the very big  annoying .

If u want to shout , shout .

If you want to cry , cry but remembering that after crying , u have to stand up and thinking optimistically .

I know ur strength is not always good . I also know u feel so lonely when no one is beside you as a real friend .

But u still have me .

I couldn’t promise that I can make u really happy .

But believe in me , and lean on me whenever you need a friend to confide ur problems .

P/S : I am always beside you , my good friend !

After a hard working day , I relaxed myself by sitting alone and listening to the songs which took me to the past when I was a little girl . Childhood with good memories  is an invaluable gift which  life brought me . I used to feel days so long without hope , direction and determination . In those sad days , laughter was such an affected thing  created by a fragile heart whose owner lost direction and had a tend to go on the wrong way . No one knew that tears shed silently at nights when I knew I had to change but I tried in vain .

Have you ever lost your belief in somebody? Or was your trust in that person not big enough for you to believe anymore? Maybe both are right . I ever asked myself whether I was right when made that decision cause leaving something or somebody used to be so important is quite hard . Knowing that my leaving could make a deep hurt in the other’s heart and my heart was flooded with pains as well . But I will never regret cause I know obviously that all is ended when the concern that person gave me  was fade  gradually . I was not the person who made mistakes . The fault of the broken relationship couldn’t be blamed to either that person or me .Cause “what comes , must comes “ . From the very beginning , both of us didn’t have a tend to make a serious friendship . Is it funny when I say this although the long way of that friendship created lots of beautiful memories ? . I laughed with myself . For me , nothing is so surprised cause nothing is impossible . That lesson I learnt from a very special one who is just a stranger for me now . Is life so cruel when brought me a very kind one like him , then, making him strange for me now ? I don’t blame that broken relationship to anyone , anything . I just think that destiny says us we don’t belong to each other because we are so different . People can say that we create our own destiny and “ no happiness is not to be struggled for “ . However , it is not right all situations . Trying to reach for something which is so far from you , you could get nothing . My friend had told me that “ don’t try to find happiness in the cloud , seeing simple happiness around you , you will be the happy one “ . Then , I am now a happy one

Tears sometimes still shed cause I couldn’t forget totally but I am really happy when I don’t remember them as much as I did . The next way waiting for me is seen to be so difficult . I will have to meet lots of difficulties but I’m the kind of person who likes challenges and new changes . I am a lucky one when having my parents and good friends beside me , support me and pick me up when I fall down .

Sorrow and pain is a part of  life . Instead of complaining about fate , about life , accept it . It makes people more mature .

Let the old one go .Because how could the new come if people don’t let the old gone ?

Listening to it raining , I was afraid of something that would leave me alone again . But you SMILED  with me , saying that " don't be afraid , you can lean on me " . Tears was taken away with the rain .

Being so lonely , I felt this world so cold , so strange . Your SMILE told me that there was still a person who always stood by me . Belief came back to me .

When nights came so long , sleep didn't sound nice , through the phone , you said me to close my eyes , hear your voice singing , I saw your SMILE  in my imagination . Tomorrow , I didn't know when I started to dream yesterday night .  

When it wasn't a success but failure , you SMILED to me " Try again , I know you can do it " . I cried but my heart was smiling cause you made me believe in myself .

When someone hurt me , left me a very big pain , you held my hands , SMILED  and drived me to somewhere called "a really Smile- place " in where I played interesting games which made me laugh so much ....

Now ,

 I SMILE when looking at the sky and finding a very special star which  always tells me that " Life is so beautiful " .Nights come to me so peaceful and I sleep soundly .

I SMILE when standing in front of rain . Rain will takes sadness away when it is sunny again .

I SMILE when trying my best day by day to put my ambition into reality although difficulties are always around .

I SMILE  when my tears shed because I know my tears now is symbol of happiness .

I SMILE  to say to myself that " I am now a strong person "

I SMILE to say to you that " I MISS YOU " and