geez

I may have lived half of my life already. That's okay, I'm happy though. I may not have achieved much in life, no big achievements to be proud of but I'm happy that I somehow been through different experiences. These may not be extraordinary experiences but I'm happy because I keep on learning and I keep on meeting new acquaintances and friends. If I'm gonna die right now, I think I will not feel that bad (but it still scares me thinking about my body being buried...that kind of thing...ha ha). Sure there are still so many things that I want to do, places that I want to see, words that I want to hear and say, feelings that I want to show and feel, strangers that I want to be friends with, experiences that I want to experience, roads that I want to travel, songs that I want to hear, and surely I still have a long list of things-I-want-to-do. So what I'm saying is, it is important that I am happy with what I have right now (though it may not be something big or fancy). I'm happy with the feeling that I get from people around me - my family, my friends, and even those people whom I'm just starting to get to know. And so I guess my life is not that bad after all. It may just look plain and simple, which most probably is but having a good disposition helps.

- My fear... I'm scared of getting old because everytime a year added to my life, I feel like lesser opportunities are in store for me. I don't know. I just feel that way.

 -I'm not ready... This may sound silly but I'm not ready yet to just stay in a certain job for good. I'm not ready yet to do this job for the rest of my life. I feel that there are still so many things that I want to give a try. New job that I want to learn. See, this is like my third job already (without counting the one that I had back in October wherein I just stayed there for 2 weeks)

-My jobs back then and now...

* I first worked as a call center agent. I had good days, bad days, and dragging-myself-to-work-moments. I knew I wanted this job because that was what I planned of getting into first. But I didn't last that long in that job. Maybe it was because it's my first job and I was still like getting used to the reality of life. But anyway, I could say I did my job well then.

 * When I saw the ad on the newspaper, I knew right away that I would love the job. And honestly I did. So I worked as an online tutor. It was fun and I could say it's one of the most interesting jobs. So I stayed for a couple of years. It was a wonderful experience especially because I felt that I was making a difference in my students' life. I know that somehow, some of them would still remember me. They may forget my name but I know they would still remember the classes that we once had. I even still have a student who sends me snail mails. It always makes me feel good that some of them still remember me. I tutored Korean students by the way. It's fun and I learned something about their culture and even made friends with some of them. And best of all, it is there where I met great friends. I'll always be thankful and glad for that. I had great and happy memories there too.

* When I got myself into this job, it was just like more of a trial. I never really thought that I would love the job and so the result was just a 2-week stay there. I didn't even finish my training there, which is for a month. I stayed for 2 weeks and quitted. It's a sort of an SEO thing. I still think it's a good job and a challenging one but for some reasons I had to quit.

 * And now, I just finished my first week of training as a conversion agent. So what do I exactly do? I'll tell you once I passed the training...ha ha I still have another week of training. But so far I'm liking it. It's going to be a new experience for me. I like the people there. They seem nice so far. And the place is fine. Not too fancy but it's perfectly good. And yes, the people are nice and so are the trainers.

 So that's my life so far... Maybe after all it's not that bad...

 The sun hasn't peeked on the horizon yet. It's pretty cold and how cozy just to stay in bed for a couple of hours or so.

I was awaken by an annoying sound.

Darn!

What a great way to start the day.

As much as I wanted to just cuddle in bed, I'm distracted by that annoying sound.

Might be the sound of the bell of an ice cream man.

What the heck is he doing early in the morning? Is he selling ice cream this early?

Geez! It's freezingly cold and who would like to eat ice cream when you are looking for the warmth of your blanket?

Maybe some people are just out of their mind.

Okay, so nature calls. I might just get up as well.

** Surprise!!!!! **

Oh! Am I sleep walking?

Oh gee! Wake up! Wake up!

This is so sweet to be true.

There's an ice cream car in the garden!

Oh my! And look!Cotton candies!

Are we having children's party here?

The truth is I'm overwhelmed deep inside. I feel like I'm 7 years old again and so overwhelmed by the site of the ice cream car and cotton candies.

Am I missing anything here?

Then my 5-year old niece came up to me with a bouquet of flowers. Wow! That is so sweet of her.

I think I'm really sleep walking.

What's going on? I just don't understand.

I was almost on my knees for she's trying to reach me and give me a hug. She whispers to my ears a sweet Valentine's Day!

Oh gosh! I almost forgot!

How could this little angel wake up so early and play cupid?

I was kinda depressed the other day (not because I don't have a valentine's date) and how wonderful of her and my sisters to prepare something for this day.

It was just so sweet!

So, who would resist ice cream for breakfast on a chilly morning?

Not me I guess...

I visited a certain blog and I came across this video from youtube. The content was a little bit familiar though. I guess I've heard it or read it somewhere else... I just can't recall where.
Anyway if you visit youtube try to search for 'everybody's free to wear sunscreen'. You maybe find it soppy or it may inspire you but for me? It inspires me.
Some of my fave lines...

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

- I especially love this line because I can relate to it. I admit that I feel bad not knowing what to do with my life.
I'm 24 and still I'm wondering where I'm leading. Sometimes I envy those who know what they really want. Some have already plans as to what they will be in the years to come.
If I'm gonna ask myself what I'll be 3 years from now, I would not be able to answer it or if I could give an answer it would be 'I don't know.'
Sometimes how I wished I could go back and planned something for my life. But if I could just unwind the hands of time, maybe I would still not know it.
Funny how my friend told me yesterday about his plans in life. That in a certain time he will be able to be what he wants. Good for him I guess.
I remember a year ago, while I was out of job, I would often go to the beach to unwind and think about my life, asking myself where would I be in the years to come.
Maybe I'm just being worried and paranoid...

Well, I guess maybe life is really like that... sometimes...it's just so confusing...

What else can I do? Maybe it's just me being me. That's just the real me I guess... confuse and lost... well, it's not that bad to be like me =)...anywayz....

Maybe when I'm 40 life is still interesting... see I'm being optimistic...
Maybe a year or two I'll read this and see what I have become or better yet someone would really be kind enough and remind me this.


Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Yeah right... but I still wanna get married and have children and grandchildren. I still wanna grow old with the person I love.



Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Certainly. No one else can give you true and unconditional love than your parents. Treasure them.
I've never been a really good daughter especially when I was a kid. I guess I've never really shown my father how much I love him.