Cross my mind

Hi folks, It has been awhile since i last updated.

I have to believe that time flies. I'm making good used of time to do writing because I was so boring!!! Just get me out here quick. I keep on reminding myself next month is my last month thus that's something keeping me motivate.

To create the motivation of doing things that you don't like, best  is to countdown till the deadline. I used this tactic before and it worked, well, at least for me.

Twist and turn, i am perplexed to the options.

I need guidance, Best is to tell me frankly so that i need not to be so stress out. Reading back all the old entries have somehow evoked me. Especially when you made the compromised in the past and now is like an examination to see if you have achieved it. Well, mine is 50/50. Nothing comes in a way that you expect life is, so just take it and follow the flow. I am here to say, things have changed pretty much compared to my plan. As a result, i am stuck in this environment and leading with no exact answer. Guess what? I am pending the answer. To human beings that are handling my application please be efficient and nice to me. I need your dear help badly.

 Few days i ago i sat for a test which was what people generally assumed would be easier. As for me, i had the tremendous pressure that put on my shoulder despite i knew it was just a test. I just need to say, system is different and i am not familiar with it. Counting down the days to finish my job also indicating me that the 15 business days are coming soon. Oh no, someone please slow down the time. That's crazy!!!!!!!

Okay that's all for now

Things left me hanging at the edge with confusion. i wish someone could read my mind and clear out my confusions. i wish magic could play on it so that i can achieve my dream. 

 Nothing seems good to me lately. It's like a moment of joy then it turns out down. 

Work doesnt sound fun to me especially the people. i dont like them but i have to endure the shits and tell myself that this life. in life i cant expect myself to meet good people only but all sorts of poker faces are surrounding me. GAH! 

 i want to receive good news from now onwards! 

 In a sad mode!

Few days back, i got the chance to meet an inspiring woman and her advice has gotten me so confusing now. I was pondering the issue with own assumptions. I thought it was an interesting interview but it turned out somewhat counseling. i do listen to her advice cause her advice had reminded me so much that i had never thought of it. However it turned me out to become dilemma.

 Internship is about free exposure right? 

 The tactic that she used to success may not work on me. I have my own way to go beyond. 

I was wondering is she entertaining me cause of my parent connection? If i were just a interviewee i wouldn't be able to get the internship. 

 I have chosen this field not because of the limited choices. But there are reasons why i am so interesting about it.Despite my preference and passion aren't specific to it but i intend to give it an attempt. 

 As an employer, i don't gain your trust so how am i supposed to prove to you that your expectation and judgment of me are wrong?

You gave me precious advice i wish i knew you earlier before i made my decision to immerse on this field. However you engender my expectation. i blame myself for not being determine and perseverance to hold my beliefs. 

I intend to shrug off all the negatives and work on it to prove to you that nevertheless my first choice isn't this but i can do it well still. 

 As long as i insist to give it a try; i will make sure that i will never turn you down. Despite you don't have a good impression on me or i don't meet your expectation. 

i am new and not officially an employee of you. In fact i was here cause of internship just for the sake of exposure. 

 in the end i know what i want in the first place. 

I know that it isn't going to be eased but that was my choice. I will work on it and prove to you. 

 Believe it! 

i need confirmation from others but the one to make decision is still me. 

Go on it! Deal with the adolescents. It is so real that it does devastate me. But hey, that's life right? 

Stay out from comfort zone i am sure certainly i could learn something new.