The tiny Spark
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Nigeria
December 13, 2008
Standing still with my hands crossed on my chest, the most surreal and sober look in my eyes and my heart numb with shock; listening to my cousin sister reading the eulogy and biography of her deceased twin sister today during her burial service. I didn’t actually know how she felt, I didn’t even know how I felt, but I was sure it so emotionally heavy on her. From her voice she was trying hard to hide the pain that was in her heart, she was being strong and so brave. Personally I think she needn’t be, she was her twin sister, the person she stayed together with for good 9 months in their mom’s womb, then out, spending more than half of their lives together, and now she was gone. So sudden, so quick, I expected her to weep, to vent out her pain and bitterness, and ask why life hasn’t been fair?She was just graduating from the university, and had a bright future ahead of her. Young, beautiful, with a smile that could melt the most stoic heart, full of live and bubbling with creativity, was this promising writer who had already written one or two books and was sure to keep soaring at that business. Why did she have to exit now when everything looked and seemed so promising? I wasn’t so knitted to her, and we didn’t have the warm relationship cousins were suppose to have, maybe because she was much older and she was a busy girl, but I still feel bits of pain, anybody who knew her would, she was the woman of the people, so friendly she could almost literally draw words from your mouth even if you don’t feel like speaking. She was lovely.My cousin died just 6 days after her 31st birthday. They said she died of kidney failure, others say it was from tuberculosis, yet others say from a liver disease. Whatever it was, it eat her gut real fast. Or maybe she has been acting everything is alright when she was torn apart inside. I don’t personally recall ever seeing her down or ill, it was so sudden and unceremonious and I still find it hard to believe she’s gone this soon. She is death! And so are her dreams, goals, desires, passions, ideas, creativity, talents, zeal, courage, strengths, will, character and personality, it seems wasted. That is the end of the road, the end of her journey.Why now? Why her? She is never getting married? Will it have been me? Silly throbbing thoughts kept carousing in my mind. And I couldn’t help but think of how short life is, like the mist of the morning, like flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow. So what is the whole point of life? What’s the meaning of living when we are all ultimately death corpses roaming about? It doesn’t make sense to gain the whole world and then lose your soul. Losing your soul? Yeah, the soul should be the most important I guess.It’s a fact that all of us are going to die someday, but after that then what? I’m sure it’s not the end of the end when we humans die, because the human spirit is immortal, so it’s also established that all of us are going in to eternity after we exit this life. So the most important question we should be asking ourselves is “were am I going to spend eternity? Heaven or hell?” You need to be sure!I hope one day we’ll see again in heaven my cousin sis, and until then have your rest in peace. Adieu. You really had a good testimony.
More entries: Eureka!: Finding life. (3), New Year New Life (1), Forgiven (1), Loving the sparrow in me, The little things make the big difference, Adieu, Grand Pa (1), It Doesn't Get Any Better!, A Chat With Hope., Unfailing Love
