the first day coming back to my college

all my feeling at this time is empty and lonely. being alone in that room i think about everything that happened. at home i had argument with my mum and my brother. i haven't talked to my brother for over 2 weeks. i love him a lot but can't forgive him. he makes me hurt . i feel i m not respected and not be considered as  his real sister. he has changed a lot and i couldn't recognize that. he is not my little brother any more, i really lost him. i had waited for that holiday much and all i gave was the stress and tears. there are many moments that i want to kill myself. i can't  face the reality that my family is not a happy, warm, and peaceful address for me to come back when i m sad or have problems and need a shoulder anymore. i want to confide with my friends about that but i m afraid alot. all  i was given is " i believe in u. u are the best. u are always happy and nothing can make u sad." they don't see that im too tired now i don't want to try , i hate the word TRY, TRY...i don't live with myself i always pretend to be a firm person, just want to be like others not mysef........