My Blog

Dear my brother,

          I many times want to write to tell all what I am thinking but I don’t dare to do that. I have to confess I am very bad sister. I have many times offending you by the way of talking like a F* person. I only know to criticize you not seeing myself. I feel I also have duty to let you become the person like today. I know you still be a very good brother of me and the good son of our parents. I am very proud of you because you are loved and liked by many girlfriends and also have many good relationships with other people. Maybe you don’t understand yourself that what you behaved towards our parents made them really hurt. I myself understand that you behave like that is not on your purpose. Our mother is not the person who understands the psychology of the children and I myself have to confess that I sometime can’t stand the way she carps at us, but I hope how angry you are you shouldn’t behave as you used to  because our mother is the biggest woman. She loves us more than any one else. We only have a mother and she really needs our sympathy and our love. I many times feel her hurt in her eyes when you talk back with her. I also have to confess many time I want to kill myself because I can’t do anything to help our family, I can’t stand the air in our family and because I am not a good sister who understands my brother’s psychology. In a family if the mother is not really sensitive, the sister will do her role trying to understand and listen to her brother’s confiding but I couldn’t do that. Many times I want to confide with you and try to tell you all of what I think but I am only a coward and F* sister. I don’t know whether or not you will read this letter but I hope if you do that you will believe these are the words from my soul. Please believe in your bad sister one time. I have one thing to plead from you” can you sympathize with our father?” I can guarantee that he loves you very much but he is a man he can say it out in words. Do you know that many times when you slept he took your hand and looked at you with the eyes full of love. You can believe it or not but listen to your heart and please one time try to look in our father’s eyes and you’ll understand what I mean. You have a girlfriend I believe it is the true love and I respect your emotion and I hope you always keep this relationship beautiful as I think. Maybe you won’t understand exactly what I want to say but I only want you to know this I LOVE YOU and YOU ARE THE BIGGEST PROPERTY OF OUR PARENTS AND I.

–YOUR BAD SISTER.

all my feeling at this time is empty and lonely. being alone in that room i think about everything that happened. at home i had argument with my mum and my brother. i haven't talked to my brother for over 2 weeks. i love him a lot but can't forgive him. he makes me hurt . i feel i m not respected and not be considered as  his real sister. he has changed a lot and i couldn't recognize that. he is not my little brother any more, i really lost him. i had waited for that holiday much and all i gave was the stress and tears. there are many moments that i want to kill myself. i can't  face the reality that my family is not a happy, warm, and peaceful address for me to come back when i m sad or have problems and need a shoulder anymore. i want to confide with my friends about that but i m afraid alot. all  i was given is " i believe in u. u are the best. u are always happy and nothing can make u sad." they don't see that im too tired now i don't want to try , i hate the word TRY, TRY...i don't live with myself i always pretend to be a firm person, just want to be like others not mysef........