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Life Talk!

Do you have some jokes to share?

RASCALkid

RASCALkid

United States

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Laughing

03:32 AM Sep 21 2006 |

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RASCALkid

RASCALkid

United States

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire to?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

03:39 AM Sep 21 2006 |

RASCALkid

RASCALkid

United States

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

Laughing

Wife asks her husband: What do you like most in me – my pretty face
or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of
humor.

Embarassed 

Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are
you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day

Cool

02:28 PM Sep 21 2006 |

ashah

Afghanistan

dear friend

hope you are fine and doing well

please send me your addrasse

thanks

your friend

03:25 PM Sep 21 2006 |

sherryleio

sherryleio

China

I can not imagine the life without laughter. :-)

Blond Robbery

The Champaign Ill. Police Department, famous for its superior K9 unit, was somewhat taken back by this recent incident.  Returning home from work,a blond was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.  As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps put her face in her hands and moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.?I call the the police for help, and what do they do?? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

01:50 AM Sep 22 2006 |

sherryleio

sherryleio

China

Last Words

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, 'Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, "Here Lies My Husband – Stiff At Last."

01:56 AM Sep 22 2006 |

kinski

kinski

Turkey

The son quarrels with parents: 

 “I have bothered constantly to be with you, always to come in time! I want romanticism, freedom, beer, girls! I leave, and don't try to keep me!”

And resolutely goes to the door. At a door father caught up with him.

“Daddy, I have told: don't try to stop me!”

“I do not stop, the sonny. I go with you!”

06:20 AM Sep 22 2006 |

Wild Daisy

Wild Daisy

Viet Nam

 

Can a Santa Clause produce a baby by himself?

A small kid wrote to Santa Clause: "Please send me a sister"

The Santa Clause wrote back: "Just send me your mother, then your wish will come true"

02:01 PM Sep 22 2006 |

RASCALkid

RASCALkid

United States

Two jokes from the olds:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.  "Disregard," he says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."  Frown

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.  A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.   "Where are you going?", she asked.  

"To get my teeth!"

Foot in mouth

04:55 AM Sep 27 2006 |

Roy.cn

Roy.cn

China

I found a nice joke in chinese , and translate for you :

man = eat + sleep + work + play;

pig   = eat + sleep;

exchange : man = pig + work + play;

then :        man – play = pig + work;

result :       man who not be adept in playing as a pig which cann't do any job!

 

 

12:13 PM Sep 27 2006 |

Rita Reis

Rita Reis

Brazil

Q. HOW DO OU CONFUSE A BLONDE?

A. YOU DON'T,THEY ARE BORN THAT WAY.

Q.WHY DO BLONDES HATE M & MS?

A.THEY'RE TOO HARD TO PEEL.

 

*BY ALL MEANS MARRY.IF U GET A GOOD WIFE, YOU'LL BE HAPPY , IF U GET A BAD ONEYOU'LL BECOME A PHILOSOPHER…...SOCRATES  Tongue out

08:45 AM Sep 28 2006 |