|
Hello, Interesting topic! I do agree with your statement, liuyouth11: "IF SOMEONE DOESN"T LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO, IT DOESN"T MEAN THEY DONOT LOVE YOU !" That's very true. I guess we have a tendency to… how can I say that… to look for our own reactions in the other. We think: "If he/she loved me, he/she would do this and not that!" (because I would do this and not that!). But that's terribly wrong. Somehow, it's loving yourself through the other, not loving him/her. People have different ways of showing their affection, and you have to learn them without expecting from them the signs you would send yourself. For that I guess you have to give up on "mistrust" and "overprotection of self". As for the second part… I would only slightly disagree with the "wrong" person thing. In my eye, nobody's wrong. They are all experiences in flesh. Roads in your life. And they will teach you something, all of them. You will also change them. There is something good to be gained in every relationship, in every experience in life. To me, when you break up, it simply means you have reached the end of the road you had to walk with this person. It doesn't mean he/she was the wrong one. No. He/she was right for the particular road on wich you were stepping back then. Let's just say life is like learning your ABCs. You have to go through A before being able to learn B. And so on :) And each time you learn a new letter, you can form new words, to express yourself with growing preciseness. And growing knowledge, which makes you a slightly different person each time. At stage E you will attract E people. At the end of the E road (breakup), after some time (for you to digest your E), you'll be ready to start over with person F. Of course, the ABC road comes with its load of disappointement. And those bad traits, too, will help you see the "right" one when he/she finally appears. You will have learnt what you're hoping for in a relationship, and what you don't want, too. And by "the right one" I mean, the one with whom you'll travel (from whom you'll learn, to whom you'll teach) in peace for the longest part of your life (hopefully the rest of your life). So: through the joys and the pains of "passing" loves, you'll become yourself, and then your "soulmate" will find you. :) (That was a bit long. Hope I haven't been a bore!) :) Best, Yun
|
