Gurantee of relations

Friends,

Marriage has become a necessary part of our life,

We wish 'Guranteed relations' for whole of the life,

Religious laws give us that  'gurantee',

in addition to laws created by governments.

Is it sufficient ?

Can these laws create harmony in the couple ?

Can these laws create 'Love & understanding', among the couple ?

Why 'Love' is not the basis of marriage,

why 'love' alone is not considered the base of the marriage ?

Can 'love' give that gurantee, which we need to 'successful marriege ?

I think  that the love is basis of marriage, buy is very impotant that the marriage is legal, according to regulations of each country.

The laws do not gurantee tha the marriage is strong…..Can 'love' give that gurantee, which we need to 'successful marriege ?....YES!!!!!!

"Religious laws give us that 'gurantee',

in addition to laws created by governments.

Is it sufficient ?"
Those laws give gurantee for the woman rights if the man become coward and forget every thing between them …
religion if it be understood good by heart will make man fair with his wife even if he is angry with her….(that's in case if man follows the prophet's words in dealing with women in delcatly way and ignore her mistakes"...
love alone is not gaurntee and fact proved that….i don't deny the love effect ….but man is bored being …and men who married know that…..single women don't know that..:)
and alwys live in a dream so why they shocked of men…and didn't learn the lesson…..............

laws are here to organize the society.not all people grow to the level of love and understanding.it's up to each couple to build a relation based on love and understanding.it's their maturity that makes their marriage a garanteed relation.

Rarely people get married for reasons besides companionship and increasing their numbers. Some exist beautifully even without marriage. So, i guess "love" is not the basic ingredient but "need" is.

laws are just created to meet our needs and if you want to stay married for long then the laws are not your boundaries but hard work and respect for your spouse and maybe even love will have to come into picture.

As for a successful marriage, love is important….. Cuz love is patient, kind,forgiving and all that!!

..... just my opinion Dev!

Hi Devinder,
first reason for marriage is society necessity. Its difficult for some people to change this situation. Our examples are our parents. We go the way they have gone. Some people are against to this circumtances and prefer loosely relationship. Some of them decide later or see the value in a marriage just to fulfill themself according to having children. So they take the way of parents later. besides to live in a marriage relationship is sopported by law. Second reason is also seen as a society necessity because some people hope financial aid by marriage. Paricularly some of girls expect liberty in marriage and abandon the own family for hoping to have to live better but this wish fail mostly. The next reason is love or to be fond of each other of course. Marriage is just acceptance of the society or the legitimation for living together. There is also other form for living together which takes place without getting married. But this can cause prejudice if there is a child or the couple get divorce. Now some opinions of me about guarantee of relation. There is nothing which guarantees relationship including love.  You are right we all wish "guaranteed relation". But we are also situated in a social change. The decision which has been made for years ago, can be misinterpreted. By all means we only guaratee that we die one day. Only this is guaranteed.

There are no guarantees. Love is a good start, but it clearly isn't the only thing. In the long term, you must have respect, equality and friendship for a successful relationship – and sometimes even that isn't enough! Religious and societal (family) laws usually only add to the pressure and guilt if a relationship is going bad. 

Andi

Friends,

Marriage has become an essential part of life, because we are not matured enough to live 'total alive' life.I call the relation  'total alive',when man & woman live to gether not without need & security but live together just because of love & sharing, having trust in each other & love.It can be a society  where woman is respected as 'source' of human life,where woman need not worry her children ,

where she need not worry about 'basic necessties of life'.

Where mother's name is sufficient,

where father is not needed for name sake or for financial source of income.

Where woman enjoys her freedom.

So , to 'unmatured human' we needed an guard to protect ourself from betraying, so human invented an phenomina called 'marrige'.

Marriage is the centre point of our life, around whom our life revolves.  

The meaning of word marriage shifted to 'relations between man & woman regulated by laws framed by religion & governments, from the relation of love & understanding.

If we analise  the total life of animals kingdom, we shall find that relations between male & female exists only upto the point of love & after recreation of one circle , both separate & move to another phase of life, hence both lives independent lives.That is that nobody is dstined to live with one, every one got chance to live with many, but after marriage we expect from human to with one partner only, so it is against our basic existential nature hence human has frustrations & mental sicknesses.No other animal has mental sickness or psychlogical problems other than uman, because all animals live the life they are.

So, 'successful marriage' has become the aim of our life.

but if we try to find the defination of 'successful marriage', we shall be in difficulty.Everybody has his own defination.

But in general we have the common understanding that ,'living of one  man with one woman for whole of the life' is a successful marriage.

All of us wanted to live happy life,full of love, where,

every man is truthful to his woman, for whole of the life,

where every woman is truthful to her man,for whole of the life.

But it is not easy because we can not over rule our basic existetial natue, hence conflicts appear, wich makes our life hell.

Many a times situation becomes that nor we can live with our spouse nor we can drop.

Neither we live nor we die,

We contineously hang inbetween the both.We suffer for whole of the life.

A great effort is needed to live a 'successful married life'.

So we can be at rest & get tired by our life.. it is mostly but a very few couple really enjoy their life. What is that ? which makes the life enjoyble ?

contd…. 

dev,

it's nice to have a world as you descibed,but this doesn't fit humans' nature.humans often don't understand even their personal needs and desires.the relation between a man and woman can grow to be a family and kids needs security to live well.a well organized  divorce is better than a running away father/mother without any news about him/her.name is not as important as avoiding the feeling of abondon.a sexual chaos is the result of having no real love and no care about being faithful to the one you chose to live by his/her side.laws just make people think before they do harm to themselves and to all the society.when they are grown to the level you have described,law and religion will not be a barrier and marriage would be the best way to take.if we are mature enough, we'll be happy to do our responsibilities and do more to make our lover happy.

sunay described well why people get married.i can just add that some persons believe in loving someone for a whole life.they believe that mutual respect and understanding;friendship and love can garantee a good living to a relationship.so, why not to marry and to have a real life of sharing everything.

Friends,

A man & woman while living in relation to each other,has been described as 'couple'.

& in a couple the most important part should be trust, love, understanding,sharing of resources & truthfulness.All these factors should define the length of a relation but as human has become clever, selfish, liar both needs a law to protect oneself from exploitation.

So marriage was derived as a remedy for protection. but by the time passed , marriage forget it's basic 'spirit' of values of love & it became just a legal frame to keep a man & woman inside a cage,in togetherness even at the cost of enemial feelings. & defination of successful marriage got derived by the length of living together rather than the quality of love & understanding.

In my opinion

A relation has three dimensions, like a building.

1.Depth

2. Length

3. Height 

1. Depth:It should be the base of a relation, it includes love , understanding, respect, sharing of resources,trust,care & sharing of responsibilities that comes out of the relation… that a partner has towards the other, it is total mutual & living process. We can't behave with our partner by going in past & future, we can relate in present only, so both need to pour themself, to live a relation.It is the soul of relation.& it should decide the 2nd dimension, that is length of a relation.

2.Length: our first dimension should decide the 2nd but unfortunately we bring 2nd dimension at first point & decide to live together for whole of the life.Before we enter in a relation we decide to keep it alive for whole of the life even at  the cost of first dimension.How can we decide to live & love in together in whole of the future ? But we decide it, rather it is predecided of the marrige that we are to live together for rest of the life. Many a times we succeed but loose the first dimension & many a time we fail also.

Can we love a person for whole of the life ?

Most of the time,when we enter in a relation of love, we see the life from outside. but as we start living together, our whole pesonality gets illuminated, which does not match to our expectaions & a war begins, making our life an hell.

3. Height:-It is the quality of our produce, it is the quanity of satisfaction we gain, It is a byeproduct of the relation, it is our life.   

If we assume a family as a 'bilding'

It has length, breath & height

length is duration, breath is understanding & height is quality.

Life becomes hell when we miss one of them.

What we can do to make it 'perfect' ?

It is the basic question.

When you see  a stream of water..you can see the waters flow through very smoothly…and all things… relations or whatever,should be happening like that….its about giving, thoughtful,love and kindness and having everything as it should be…having someone as who he/she is..but at the end.. its always got to do about winning…but its not because of to win any competitions or someone..its because you got to do the best for your self…and its also about giving the best that you got….