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Friends with Your Ex

Friends with Your Ex

Date: Aug 19 2008

Themes: Friend, Romance

Intro

1. Learn Vocabulary - Learn some new vocabulary before you start the lesson.

2. Read and Prepare - Read the introduction and prepare to hear the audio.

When you’re in a relationship, you spend a lot of time getting to know someone really well. And often, when a relationship ends, the people involved never see each other again or at least never spend much time together. But why shouldn’t they? Since they know each other so well, if they can put aside whatever caused the relationship to end, couldn’t they be good friends?

Well, it’s easier said than done. It’s hard to turn a relationship into a friendship and it’s also hard on your new partner. You have to be really secure to be OK with your girlfriend or boyfriend hanging out with his or her ex. Beren and Devan are currently on opposite sides of this situation. Listen to them talk about it.

Dialog

1. Listen and Read - Listen to the audio and read the dialog at the same time.

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Beren

Beren

Devan

Devan

Beren:  I’m a kind of weird position. One of my exes keeps on contacting me and it’s not like we’re friends because I think that’s weird to be friends with somebody you used to date when you’re dating somebody new. Have you ever had an experience with that?

Devan:  Oh totally. My boyfriend is still really good friends with his ex and that bothers me.

Beren:  Like, do they talk on the phone or talk in person or…

Devan:  They email each other a lot and he’s always like, “Oh, I think it’s really great that we can still be friends, but it kind of puts you in a weird situation…” Does your girlfriend…does she care that your ex is contacting you?

Beren:  Um, yeah, she gets a little weirded out about it. I would be too after so much time has passed…You have wonder why they’d want to be contacting you. And by the same token I know plenty of people who are friends with their exes and it seems to work. And I think maybe there’s a stigma on it which is why people are naturally more prone to be jealous.

Devan:  I think also depends on how the relationship ended too and how much time has passed.

Beren:  Yeah, I agree.

Devan:  I think that if my boyfriend talked to his girlfriend from high school who was like his first girlfriend and they haven’t seen or been together for like 10 years that wouldn’t bother me so much as the ex girlfriend he talks to all the time is the girl he dated right before he dated me, so that makes it a little more weird, you know?

Beren:  I can see that.

 

Quizzes

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Lesson MP3

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Discussion

Someone Beren used to date has been trying to get in touch with her because she wants to be friends. But she can’t figure why, after all this time, her ex would want to be friends with her. Plus she’s worried it will be hard on her new girlfriend. And rightfully so. Devan explains that her boyfriend is friends with his ex and it bothers her.

Devan thinks that it makes more sense to be friends with your ex if a lot of time has passed. But her boyfriend is friends with the woman he was with right before her and it freaks her out.

How would you feel in Devan’s position? Are you friends with anyone you used to date?

 

Comments

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rene arriaga

Honduras

i think that you cant be friends again with your ex .

05:30 PM Aug 21 2008 |

sandra_8

sandra_8

Slovakia

i am so jealous so i m not very keen on when my actual boy gets in touch with his ex…but on the other hand, I am friend with some my exboyfriends..but in terms of me, it´s different:D

07:44 AM Aug 21 2008 |

ZENA.

ZENA.

Morocco

I can’t be friend with someone I already had a relationship with.
that sucks.

02:58 PM Aug 20 2008 |

izam8480

izam8480

Malaysia

I’ve have no problem on that subject, if she do it, it doesnt bother me at all since I’m single

02:02 PM Aug 20 2008 |

VivienHu

China

for me it is difficult to have friends with ex-BF any more.We do loved each other when we were together,however when the love is gone meeting with each other again seems so embarrassed. and it will bring trouble for each partner.

I do believe someone could be friends with ex but the guy not be my BF.

10:25 AM Aug 20 2008 |

pink angel

pink angel

Saudi Arabia

i think this is silly topic to be talk about

 

07:33 AM Aug 20 2008 |

sisilena

China

i'm still be friend with my ex, the one before my bf. i dont know whether he cares or not. anyways, he is 15 hours by plane away from me. my feelings for my ex already gone and been in relationship with my bf  2 more years already. so there is no way i could go back to ex. in my heart, only friendship for him but for him, he still wants me back no matter how many times i told him i already in a new relationship, my heart belongs another guy. maybe it's not a good idea to be friend with my ex, especially he still holds feelings towards me. actually, i can have no connection with him but he just like to call me out sometimes. still i think it's ok as long as i done everything i should and give him no chance.

07:17 AM Aug 20 2008 |

cherieying

cherieying

China

yeah,i think my boyfriend will be bothered when i get a message from my ex.

06:22 AM Aug 20 2008 |

jojycheung

jojycheung

China

any guys have any idea that how to download the audio documents?

05:27 AM Aug 20 2008 |

Saisunee

Saisunee

Thailand

when love is over can’t be friend noway T_T

04:57 AM Aug 20 2008 |

Mickey123

Mickey123

United States

IF I were in Devan's place, I would've fell insecured about the relationship between my boyfriend and I  I think I would've thought his ex was trying to sabotage our relationship and trying to get back with him. Commonly, people can't ultimately disengage with someone they've loved, unless  he or she have done something terrible and unforgivable things. In my point of view, if he keeps chatting and never stopping seeing her, they would've get back togerther and the third wheel which was me would get hurt. People are naturally more prone to be jealous. Yeah, In any case it would be hazardous…

04:50 AM Aug 20 2008 |

samjj

samjj

Malaysia

I suggest keeping relationship with our exes at a distance – no more than saying the normal greetings like good morning etc – just a social interaction. We have to make sure that it will never rock our current relationship ….

12:21 AM Aug 20 2008 |

chispatri

Spain

Oooh! I've been so angry in the beginnings with my boyfriend… it's weird and difficult to hang on with your boyfriend seeing his ex. You really try to understand the situation, but it's inevitable to feel dissappointed… as far as I've tried.

06:39 PM Aug 19 2008 |

1 person likes this

baochungit

baochungit

Germany

no one isn’t jealous when we are in love

12:45 PM Aug 19 2008 |

Cannibal RJ

Brazil

Very complicated. Over??? Goodbye. Talk to my lawyer now. I´ll see you in other plan or other life (if this to exist). rsrsrsrsrsrs

12:33 PM Aug 19 2008 |

Jukurpa

Jukurpa

France

We can be friend with our exes. But it should not be some way to remember the old time.

It could be hazardous when you are in a new relationship.

11:55 AM Aug 19 2008 |

SÉRGIO

SÉRGIO

Brazil

yes! It depends on how the relationship ended! but i think there is no problem on keeping in touch with your ex!

11:55 AM Aug 19 2008 |

Coco love

China

I think it is easy to make quarrel. 

08:44 AM Aug 19 2008 |

rainstrs

rainstrs

Philippines

it bothers me a lot if ever my girl would be contacting with her ex… what's the motive… why does she need to be in touch with her ex…it's not so good to me at all. lets say past is past but it could  haunt me if ever….

07:45 AM Aug 19 2008 |

jenny_emo

jenny_emo

United States

i dont have EX

07:16 AM Aug 19 2008 |

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