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Hurt Someone's Feelings
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Hurt Someone's Feelings English, baby! Video Lesson
伤害别人的感情

Learn the Simple Future Tense

Date: Jan 03 2012

Themes: Soap Opera

Grammar: Simple Future Tense

Intro

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2. Read and Prepare - Read the introduction and prepare to hear the audio.

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American kids have a saying for when someone says something mean: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Of course, adults know that words can hurt. If someone hurts your feelings, it can feel like you got punched, or worse.

Just calling someone a name or saying something mean isn’t enough to hurt someone’s feelings. You have to take the hurtful comment seriously to get your feelings hurt. People often get their feelings hurt when a weakness is pointed out in a hurtful way.

Dale has gained a lot of weight lately. Jeff thinks it’s time for him to say something about it. But can he do it without hurting anyone’s feelings?

美国的孩子在某人说了一些难听的话后会说:“棍棒伤我身,恶语奈我何”。但是,大人知道言语也会伤人。如果某人伤害了你的感情,你会感觉如同重击或者更糟。
仅仅直呼其名或说难听的话不足以伤害某人的感情。极其严重的恶语才会伤害你的感情。人们往往在被别人恶意揭短时感情会受到伤害。
德尔最近胖了很多。杰夫认为此时应该提醒他。但是他能否在提醒德尔时不伤害他的感情吗?

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Dialog

1. Listen and Read - Listen to the audio and read the dialog at the same time.

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Devan

Devan

Jeff

Jeff

Dale

Dale

Devan:  Hey guys, want to know what I’m going to do right now?

Jeff:  Does it have to do with that wedding?

Devan:  Yes! I’m going to go taste cakes. Who wants to come?

Jeff:  Not me.

Dale:  Oh, me! Me! I’ll go!

Devan:  You want to go?

Jeff:  Dale, I don’t think you need any more sweets for the day. You already had that bag of cookies earlier.

Dale:  Hey, that was the lunch dessert. I’m eating my snack. I think that’s a great snack dessert. I’m in.

Devan:  OK.

Dale:  I’m in.

Jeff:  Desserts? Snacks? Um, yeah, no more snacks. No more desserts and enough with the pizza too.

Dale:  That’s my favorite kind of pizza!

Jeff:  That’s your favorite kind of pizza? Look, Dale, I’m going to be blunt with you. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you’ve put on a lot of weight. It’s pretty apparent.

Dale:  It is?

Jeff:  I mean, you hang out in sweats all the time. You never really get up. You just kind of stay in that chair.

Dale:  OK. I get it. I get it.

Jeff:  Just take a couple laps.

Dale:  OK. I’ll just take a walk.

Jeff:  I’m just looking out for you.

Dale:  I’ll see you guys later, alright? I’ll see you guys later. Alright.

Jeff:  Alright, bud.

Devan:  I can’t believe you just hurt Dale’s feelings like that.

Jeff:  Hurt his feelings? Look, alright, he’s a big boy. He can understand a little constructive criticism.

Devan:  Maybe so, but I really think you just made him sad. I really think you hurt his feelings.

Jeff:  He needs to hear it, Devan. OK?

Devan:  Well, now I don’t have anybody to go taste cakes with me, so I guess you’re going to have to come. I mean, I don’t really want you to come, since you are my least favorite employee, but you’re the only one left, so…

Jeff:  Oh, thanks. Way to hurt my feelings, too.

Devan:  Too bad. Let’s go.

 

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Discussion

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Devan needs someone to taste wedding cakes with her. Of course, Dale volunteers.

Jeff says he thinks Dale has had enough sweets today. But Dale says he had dessert after lunch. He just ate a snack, so now he needs a dessert to follow that.

That’s when Jeff decides it’s time to be blunt. He tells Dale that he is not healthy and needs to exercise more and eat less. He says he doesn’t mean to hurt Dale’s feelings, but clearly he does. Jeff wanted to give constructive criticism, but he did it in a mean way, so Dale got sad.

Dale leaves, so now Devan still needs someone to taste cakes with her. She tells Jeff she likes the other employees better than him, but he will have to come anyway. Jeff says she hurt his feelings.

Have you ever had your feelings hurt?

 

Comments

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snoopyboy

snoopyboy

Antarctica

HAHA Ryo!  a pillow under the shirt  (:


It’s funny you noticed it and not Jeff

02:50 PM Jan 03 2012 |

1 person likes this

 julito

julito

Argentina

I am also ready to give my “two cents of advice”  and  then forget about it. I know that  most probably  my” wise “words will be forgotten by the time we  say good bye.. hehehe!!!

02:41 PM Jan 03 2012 |

Talk Now

Talk Now

Jordan

i don’t feel hurt when someone critizes me , i like that , sometimes we don’t see our faults but we need whom to tell us , i prefer some body says the truth for me more than whom hide the truth and keep it away from me  . there are a big difference between constructive criticism and sarcasm , constructive critisim it’s like push toward better , but sarcasm it’s nonsense words noway to go except hurt other’s feeling ..



and the example above it’s from constructive critisim , which i prefer it

02:34 PM Jan 03 2012 |

snoopyboy

snoopyboy

Antarctica

Julito if they can’t digest a cup of Honest Tea they need not ask for my two cents. I never got the “Mind your business” whip… hehehe!

02:29 PM Jan 03 2012 |

AUL

AUL

Azerbaijan

everybody must respect each other


if u dont want to see bad behavior to yourself u must respect people

02:21 PM Jan 03 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

I think- when asked – constructive opinion   is welcome ,otherwise , as Snoopy says ,we might come across as mean persons.  What if  we get a response as : mind your own business , clean up your own backyard first. !!!!    Ahaaaa.

02:17 PM Jan 03 2012 |

2 people like this

snoopyboy

snoopyboy

Antarctica

I think one of the flaws I have is being blunt, this is a self-conscious observation. I have no filters when it’s down to being honest and somewhat direct. I’ve hurt many folks’ feelings more than Donald Trump has. So I always tell people, mostly friends beforehand how blunt I can be. I have few friends (go figure), and each of them know that If they ever want my opinion especially regarding themselves, they know they have to brace for impact; impact because my honesty  will literally knock them off their feet. But they are my friends so they can take it, we’ve compromised and I accept any harsh yet constructive opinion they throw at me as well.


In this scenario I would have taken a more discreet approach, I would have whispered to Dale ears “ you need to lose some weight, ditch the cakes and sweet man” something like that ….However, if I don’t know you too well, I will try to gauge my bluntness so that I don’t come across too mean or indifferent.  I understand that some people can be very intolerant to criticism, that’s why I use a lot of diplomacy when trying to point out any kind of remarks about them. I’m very observant of people and I can have a lot to say about them, but I do go around and play judge on them whenever/wherever it pleases me. So Jeff take it down a notch, just a little bit


 

01:45 PM Jan 03 2012 |

1 person likes this

Kropeczka

Kropeczka

Poland

From this lesson I’ll memorise the sentence “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. It’s for sure :)

01:43 PM Jan 03 2012 |

SantD.

SantD.

Brazil

Well, it’s like women say: “It’s not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it”. Keep that in mind!


Sometimes you can’t just speak your mind, mainly if you’re talking about someone’s appearance. All of us have feelings that deserve to be respected. If you wanna give an advice, go ahead, but be gentle and choose your words carefully, don’t do it in an arrogant way. Don’t treat others the way you don’t want to be treated. Jeff did that and, as you can see, tables turned on him.

01:40 PM Jan 03 2012 |

AUL

AUL

Azerbaijan

yeah Julito


i like your friends advice


critisim should be like an advice no order

12:05 PM Jan 03 2012 |

1 person likes this

 julito

julito

Argentina

Dear friend, long ago a friend  gave me a piece of advice:  be careful when you , with the best of intention  criticize  somebody´s shortcomings,  don´t start as: you  MUST quit smoking, drinking ,doing so, you  only reinforce  the vice in that person.   It is better to say: please friend  try to control  and not smoke  or drink   so much. Very often ,there are Psychological causes  that prompt people  to indulge in over eating ,drinking or smoking.What is your take on this:?

12:02 PM Jan 03 2012 |

123ll

Saudi Arabia

this does’t matter if everyone is taking lik this to me , because i know myself good.

11:10 AM Jan 03 2012 |

AUL

AUL

Azerbaijan

i think critism is good think but everything has limit


and it depends on person


may be i can accept it but u not


thats why person first should think


and i think everybody should do it like giving an advice:)

10:59 AM Jan 03 2012 |

1 person likes this

kotlesya

kotlesya

Belarus

The constructive criticism is helpful, but it can be used only for your close friend. It is not polite way to be blunt  with everybody ( keep your opinion in your mind) ;) Your close friend will never get punched, he will understand you and will take your words correctly, because he is sure you try to help him. 

05:43 AM Jan 03 2012 |

Miss Florida

China

yes!jeff’s words is derect.but it seems true,Dale eats all the time and is bad for dale ’s health .as a real friend ,it ’s neccessary to point out.in china,a words called “zhengyou”,it means someone can derectly point out one friend’s fault,not just praise,flatter,or cater for.so i think that everybdy should have friends like this.but the way can be implict, in appropriate time and place is important

05:26 AM Jan 03 2012 |

ola33

ola33

Japan


The feelings are easy to get hurt. Especially if you’re vulnerable, like feeling depressed or feeling insecure, or having some problems…  Another thing’s here that Dale is a close friend to Jeff and the last one probably wanted to be just helpful , but that was a little bit awkward since Devon was there. What if Dale is secretly in love with Devon and here’s such a revelation about his weight. But I liked the way Dale accepted the negative news. He looked like didn’t know about it and was cool with it leaving a place to walk extra laps :) I’d go, for the sake of healthy nerves, with the American saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. That’s pretty a good attitude to accept any kind of unexpected messages.


03:08 AM Jan 03 2012 |

emi0808

emi0808

Philippines

I had this kind of experience with my fiance, sometimes he can hurt my feelings easily just by talking to me hashly and sometimes when I don’t like the tone of his voice when were having disagreements or misunderstanding. and i really hate when hes pointing out my weakness using constructive critiscm and even though I’m almost in tears he can’t just stop.

02:58 AM Jan 03 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

I don´t agree with Jeff , we should be very careful  when  pointing out   others weaknesses, grade of friendship, place and time are important, He should not have criticized his friend in front of Devan. 


 

10:42 AM Jan 02 2012 |

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