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staralliance

China

April 10, 2009

 

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If your parents are unhappy, are you destined for unhappiness, too? Psychologists used to believe that genes played a determining role in our state of mind. But new research is finding that people can do more than previously thought to improve their outlook on life. “Things are more complex than simple genetic models suggest,” says Ed Diener, a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois who researches subjective well-being. “People are stuck with the genes they have … but we know that adult personality can change, and people probably have some control over this.”

How much control is still a matter of debate within the field. In a new book, “The How of Happiness”, Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, proposes that a full 40 percent of our happiness is within our control. Using data from research on identical and fraternal twins, she concludes that an additional 50 percent is determined by genetics. The remaining 10 percent is dictated by circumstance—like a recent divorce or a financial windfall. “In the past, we’ve heard you can’t make people happy sustainably because happiness is genetic or because life’s circumstances won’t allow it,” says Lyubomirsky. “I argue that there are things we can actually change.”

Lyubomirsky, who has been studying happiness for nearly two decades, offers a dozen so-called happiness intervention strategies in her book, all backed by her own or others’ research. With help from a National Institute of Mental Health grant, she and colleague Ken Sheldon have conducted or reviewed dozens of studies with participants who, for example, wrote letters of gratitude, performed conscious acts of kindness or kept a “best possible selves” journal to outline future goals over six or more weeks. When compared with control groups, those who performed the activities regularly reported “significantly bigger” increases in their happiness levels, as compared with before the intervention. “Even nine months later, we still saw the effects: those who continued to practice these strategies had more sustained happiness,” she says. Here’s more advice from the book:

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March 24, 2009

Joy in living comes from having fine emotions, trusting them, giving them the freedom of a bird in the open.

Joy in living can never be assumed as a pose, or put on from the outside a mask. People who have this joy don’t need to talk about it, they radiate it.

They just live out their joy and let it splash its sunlight into other lives as nature as a bird sings.

We can never get it from working for it directly.

It comes, like happiness, to those who are aiming at something higher. It's a byproduct of great, simple living.

The joy of living comes from what we put into our living, not from what we seek to get from it.
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February 18, 2009



One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.


He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.



Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How  much do I owe you?"



"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."



As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.



Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.



Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.



Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.


Dressed in his doctor's gown he we nt in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.



After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.



She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as She read these words.....



"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

 

10:29 AM Feb 20 2009

DS

DS
Algeria

It's a wonderful story, thanks for sharing it with us.

We have a local proverb here in Algeria which says "do good dees and hide them" yeah the translation is not perfect but the meaning is that we should do good deeds and help people when they need us and forget about it, because one day when we will need the help we will find the same person or someone else who will help us in return.

Thanks again.

Have good times.