Meizhen

Waking up, that's one of the things I hate about life. ''Sleeping is good. Death is better. But it would be best to have never been born.''Oh I love that quote, I think like that too. If I would have never been born it would make life for the people around me so easier.

It's sad how I complain about my life while other people live in much more pain. Does this make me selfish? Probably.

I hate it when people say 'everyone' has a talent you just need to search for it. Well being on this planet for a good couple of years... nothing has popped up. Sigh, why am I writing this again? Oh yes let me explain. I'm one of those people who keep things locked inside of them. But not only that I act not like myself at all. I fake a smile I fake my life, but there is a reason behind that.. I have someone who looks up to me I can't disappoint him. If he sees me being a useless person.. he would throw his life away himself. And I don't want him to do that. I want him to be happy. I want me to be happy. But how can I be happy when things always turn bad.

My life is a like skydiving. In the beginning you are really happy but once you're off the airplane you are scared, you start screaming you get seperated from people around you. You are all alone and you are falling, falling on the ground, dieing. But there is no resisting you just are glad you are almost on the ground.. dead.

If you have read this far you are probably confused.. 'What the hell.. is this all about?'. Yeah I am not sure either. I am just writing down how I feel but I am not good at making good structurized text. I will pay more attention next time I write something.