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Ask Ebaby! Teachers Go Super!

improving writing style

free to write

India

How can I improve these sentences to make them more expressive and understandable

Weekends have gone a little slow these days. I have seen most must see places in Singapore and have been to many active places. I feel a nice change will be going back to these places with a different perspective and with enthusiastic people. The social life also tends to be very repetitive at times leaving no room for excitement or new interaction. Finding interseting topics to talk on and getting a response that you can't predict or had not thought of can be something that I am looking for.

 

05:48 PM Mar 02 2010 |

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Teacher AmySuper Member!

United States

Hi! You have a good start here. One thing that can make a paragraph like this more interesting is adding more specific detail. For example, you tell us that you have seen many places, but you do not mention any specific places you have seen or describe them to us. When you describe something, you give your readers an image they can picture in their minds, and that helps them connect to your writing. 

Also, in the last sentence, I would write, "Finding interesting topics…IS something that I am looking for.

 

Good work!

Amy

08:43 PM Mar 02 2010 |