Too late for sorry

           ((When words are no long expressing))
 
 
Did you ever in your life felt that there is so many thing you want to say for someone special in your life but you could not.??
Did you ever felt that words are no long expressing the deep feeling and your inner thoughts ???
 
it's like you are lost in the middle of no where , in a dark place , not knowing where is the right direction ..
 
it's like you are a hopeless child a gain , Does not know how to express your feeling , or to say what you want , because  the lack of the vocabulary you know ,
so desperately you leave the talk to tears , to explain your situation ...
 
we were friends since the 7th grade , best friends , more then sisters, always together and never apart . we were always saying 
                                  ((friends forever))
 
Once we had a fight over something stupid , can't even remember what !!!
she was one of the girls ,who gets angry easily , and never say sorry even if she was wrong , so we stopped talking for a week , and then i got an sms from her saying the exact words
                                 ((friends forever)) 
to be honest iwas happy , glade that she was the one who come back and send me first , she did not say sorry , but for me those two words mean she was .
but there was a little anger inside me that she waited for a whole week to send , and i always say sorry 2 minutes later from the fight if we had one ...
so i left her for more 3 days , and i called , her mobile was off , awaited for the next day and i called her again and it was also closed i start to worry then  , she never close her mobile before , she hated to close it for any reason , so i called her mother and there was the shocking news (( she is in the hospital my dear please pray for her ))
i could not believe what i just heard , hysterically i cried  , like a baby taken by force from his mother , so my mam took the phone to know which hospital she was in .....
we went there , and i run like a crazy person searching for her room , and when i arrived i freeze in there for a moment , like someone seen a ghost , try to take my breath and then i opened the door , .....................
 
dark , gloomy room , windows  and curtain were closed , cold room sad scene i saw ....
her mother was on one side of the bed holding her daughter's hand and her father was in the other side standing with an eyes full of tears , all i could say in that moment is ((what had happen for her she was okay right ???
and there was the other shocking news that killed me that night ?
her mother said((Sara or ""sweet Sara "" like she use to  ask me to call her ,  had a cancer, her mother said she had a cancer my dear and she did not want any body to know , it was in all her body and it was to late to treat her ))
how , why , when many questions come to my head that moment , but i asked nothing ?? 
i sit in a chiar next to her , wanted to say sorry , sorry , my friend sorry , for not knowing , sorry if i hurt you one day , sorry if i act foolish sometime , sorry if i did not understand you one day , sorry if could not feel your pain ,sorry for not being there for you , but here  i am naw , but how would you know and you are in coma naw , millions of sorry i want to say ,
 
but how with that stupid watch ticking in each minute as preparing us for goodbye ...
 
how with the time pass and we lose the hope  in it every seconds....
i sit there crying , remembering , hoping  , wondering and nothing more then just waiting ,
 
4weeks later she died ...........
 
((for all those people who have some one special in their lives , please tell them how much , you love , and care for them , before the time pass and the precious moments go away and then our words become meaningless and lose its interest..))
because when times pass , it's never come back again don't make anger , foolish act leads you to destroy your relationship
.
sooooooooooooooooooorry if it is too long , but i thought its worth reading thats way i wrote it .