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mehdimansiz

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

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August 26, 2014

A real friend

Is hard to find…

Difficult to leave….

And impossible to forget


 

15 Things Real Friends Do Differently

As we grow, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most.

Here are 15 things real friends do differently:

1.       They face problems together. – A person who truly knows and loves you – a real friend – is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes the smile on your face.  Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.

2.      They give what they can because they truly care. – One of the biggest challenges in relationships comes from the fact that many of us enter a relationship in order to get something.  We try to find someone who’s going to make us feel good.  In reality, the only way a relationship will last, and give us joy in the long-term, is if we see our relationship as a place we go to give, and not just a place we go to take.  Yes, of course it is okay to take something from a relationship too.  But both sides should be giving.  It can only be a ‘give and take’ if BOTH SIDES are GIVING.  That’s the key.

3.      They make time for each other. – It’s obvious, but any relationship without any face time is going to have problems.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life.  Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you, they will create one for you.  

4.      They offer each other freedom. – A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open.  Plenty of air is circulating and no one feelstrapped.  Relationships thrive in this environment.  Keep your doors and windows open.  If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.

5.       They communicate effectively. – It’s been said many times before, but it’s true: great communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship.  If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow.  If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities.  If you have expectations of your partner, you must communicate them.  If there are any problems whatsoever, you must communicate them and work them out.  And communicate more than just problems – communicate the good things too.

6.      They accept each other as is. – Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety, and it hurts.  A real friend is someone who truly knows you, and loves you just the same.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.  If you feel like changing something about your friend, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead.

7.       They are genuine, and expect genuineness. – As Leo F. Buscaglia once said, “Never idealize others.  They will never live up to your expectations.  Don’t over-analyze your relationships.  Stop playing games.  A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts.  Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts.  Always be open, honest, and genuine.  

8.      They compromise. – Real friends meet in the middle.  When there’s a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties – a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in.

9.      They support each other’s growth changes. – Our needs change with time.  When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing; sometimes it just means you’ve grown.  Don’t apologize for it.  Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

10.   They believe in each other. – Simply believing in another person, and showing it in your words and deeds, can make a huge difference in their life.  Studies of people who grew up in dysfunctional homes but who grew up to be happy and successful show that the one thing they had in common was someone who believed in them.  Do this for those you care about.  Support their dreams and passions and hobbies.  Participate with them.  Cheer for them.  Be nothing but encouraging.  Whether they actually accomplish these dreams or not, your belief is of infinite importance to them.

11.    They maintain realistic expectations of their relationship. – No one is happy all the time.  Friends must keep realistic expectations of each other.  Notice when you’re projecting something onto the other person that has nothing to do with them, like a fear from a past relationship, and then make an effort to let it go.  Recognize when you’re looking for that person to do something for you that you need to do for yourself, like making you feel lovable or take care of your needs, and then release those expectations and do it for yourself.

12.   They honor each other in small ways on a regular basis. – Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.  Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show your appreciation and affection.  Remember, making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Your kindness and gratitude matters.  Make an effort to really listen – not just wait to talk.  See the other person as if for the first time.  It’s all too easy to take someone for granted.  Really notice all the wonderful things they do, and let them know what you see.

13.   They listen, and they hear every word. – Giving a person a voice, and showing them that their words matter, will have a long-lasting impact on them.  Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.

14.   They keep their promises. – Your word means everything.  If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  Real friends keep promises and tell the truth upfront.  

15.    They stick around. – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need.  When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave.  The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on.  We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.

April 22, 2014

04:59 AM Jul 19 2014

mehdimansiz
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

you're welcome

01:16 AM Jul 19 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Nice to know, thank you :)

06:29 AM Jul 17 2014

mehdimansiz
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Pari Chehrehsa

Designer - Artist - Teacher at Cochrane High school

 Calgary  University of Canada she is an Artist and Master of Design

10:17 AM Jul 16 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

who is Pari Chehrehsa? 

10:16 AM Jul 16 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

By the way, "Sama'a" doesn't mean Sama or the universe, Samā in general etymology it originates from Arabic and means "listening", Sufism believes it as a special kind of listening and singing some kinds of zekr (ذکر ) and prforme a special dance at the same time.

07:17 AM Jul 16 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

well, thanks for text, however, i know it in theory :)

i need a real experience, bcoming one soul and being in another universe or becoming all universe and reaching to the real spiritual peace can be accomplished by a true and correct form of the"saying prayars"as well, like what Ali (as) had done. a true Namaz can do like that, you know, i wanna discover the secret in it ;)

05:52 AM Jul 16 2014

mehdimansiz
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

The Sama Dancemoreby Pari Chehrehsa  “Sama” meaning “the Universe” is a dance that allows the dancer to become focus in the inner spiritual world of himself/herself and as the result become able to connect with the universe though Sama’s unique choreography moves. The main move of Sama is a continues turn of the dancer/worshiper. The dancer would turns around a circle and also turns around himself/herself until feels the meditation is happening. This is an act of improvisation and it continues until she feels her presence with God and she sees herself as part of the network of the Universe. Once connected, there is no Me or You exist, it is all one soul. Humans, plants, the sky, the water, the air, the fire, the stars, the mountains, the animals, the planets, etc. are the same; they are all the manifestation of God in different faces.

02:47 AM Jul 16 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Meditations or sth like that tries to increase your attention on inner peace, but "Sama'a" from a Aref's point is to accept the invitation of God, it has a deep meaning and origin in Mysticism, it means more than meditation for them, they claim its a way to go to trance and be in another place, something like what a medium does to see ghosts or be in the other worlds :)

02:38 AM Jul 16 2014

Hazelgirl

Hazelgirl
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

you are kinda right. it has sort of meditation too, but it needs a perfect and strong belief which you cant find in any kinds of easy-steps meditations like yuga.

12:27 PM Jul 14 2014

mehdimansiz
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Look

In my opinion this is a way to find inner peace

but I think every person shoud has her/his method to find inner peace

someone with ''Sama Dance''

someone with pray

and  also perhaps an other strange way

View all comments >

February 16, 2014

Built between the beginning of the 16th century and the end of the 18th century, this place of spiritual retreat in the Sufi tradition uses Iranian traditional architectural forms to maximize use of available space to accommodate a variety of functions (including a library, a mosque, a school, mausolea, a cistern, a hospital, kitchens, a bakery, and some offices). It incorporates a route to reach the shrine of the Sheikh divided into seven segments, which mirror the seven stages of Sufi mysticism, separated by eight gates, which represent the eight attitudes of Sufism. The ensemble includes well-preserved and richly ornamented facades and interiors, with a remarkable collection of antique artefacts. It constitutes a rare ensemble of elements of medieval Islamic architecture.

Outstanding Universal Value

Brief synthesis

Sheikh Safi al-Din Khānegāh and Shrine Ensemble was built as a small microcosmic city with bazaars, public baths, squares, religious buildings, houses, and offices. It was the largest and most complete khānegāh and the most prominent Sufi shrine since it also hosts the tomb of the founder of the Safavid Dynasty. For these reasons, it has evolved into a display of sacred works of art and architecture from the 14th to the 18th century and a centre of Sufi religious pilgrimage.

The Sheikh Safi al-Din Khānegāh and Shrine Ensemble in Ardabil is of Outstanding Universal Value as an artistic and architectural masterpiece and an outstanding representation of the fundamental principles of Sufism. Ilkhanid and Timurid architectural languages, influenced by Sufi philosophy, have created new spatial forms and decorative patterns. The layout of the ensemble became a prototype for innovative architectural expressions and a reference for other khānegāhs. As the shrine of a prominent Sufi master, who also was the founder of the Safavid Dynasty, the property has remained sacred in Iran up to the present day.

Criterion (i): The conception of the entire ensemble layout, the proportions of the internal and external spaces and of the buildings, their design and refined decoration, together with the climax created by the sequenced path to Sheikh Safi al-Din’s shrine, all combined, have concurred to create a unique complex in which aesthetics and spirituality are in a harmonious dialogue.

Criterion (ii): The architectural spaces and features of the nominated property have integrated influences of the Ilkhānid and Timurid periods with the religious message of Sufism and the taste for exquisite ornamentation and interior spaciousness, thus giving rise to fresh architectural and artistic forms.

Criterion (iv): The Sheikh Safi al-Din ensemble is a prototype and an outstanding example of a 16th century religious complex, combined with social, charitable, cultural, and educational functions, which contains all the significant elements that since came to characterize Safavid architecture and became a prototype for other khānegāh and shrines.

File:Dast.jpg

I invite you all to Ardabil to see this place

01:20 PM Feb 23 2014

mehdimansiz
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Thank you for your good comment

Have a good time

11:06 AM Feb 23 2014

Mh90

Mh90
Iran, Islamic Republic Of

He was a great Sheykh. I stepped on his foot-step!