Heartbreak and Forgiveness

Recently, I have had to comfort a friend who is experiencing the worst kind of heartbreak. Having one’s heart broken is the worst pain. Those of us that have gone through it know it can take ages to recover from having your heart broken. While my attention has been focused on my friend and comforting her, I can’t help but think about the man who has broken her heart. He is also a friend, and now I find myself asking, “How do you forgive the unforgiveable?”

When someone does something so hideous, so awful and you have previously given them the benefit of the doubt and they repeatedly mess up, how do you keep giving them allowances? Is it possible that it is as simple as the passage of time, or are there some things that are just unforgiveable? 

Now I know that there are some huge underlying issues that are not being addressed here and for that I want to be understanding, but when your actions destroy those around you that love you most, I just have a hard time being compassionate.  I know people make mistakes and need guidance but how many times can you keep making the same mistakes and not take some serious stock in your life?

I am being intentionally vague about the specifics because these are real people who deserve their privacy. I will say that the situation is very disturbing and screams for the need for real, professional help. 

It would be easy to just hate this person and wish him harm, but that is not me. I am understanding and I am very forgiving. That is why I am so conflicted and broken up about this: it just doesn’t make any sense to me. I want to magically make things better for my friend and take all of her pain away, but that is impossible. I just hope that for the sake of everyone involved, clarity is reached and that the healing can begin sooner rather than later.