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pure and red bean




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October 3, 2007

yesterday was my birthday.i had thought that day  would be very specail and unforgettable.so it was .but it is not the  same as i hoped.the day before yesterday i broke up with my boyfriend who promised me to  come see me and get-together with me .he broke his promise .long time before,i had the hope that i should give one chance to rescue my affection ,so i didn;t say break-up to him .because  he was  always good to me.i didn't want to hurt his feeling  .i tried my best  to rescue it but it turned out to be a great  fault .i  should not have given this chance to us ,as well as our affection .our love lacked in understanding and a lot of things .he almost  told me that he loved me very deeply everyday  ,but without any action.i hated  this kind of guys.when he told  me he would just have a three-day holiday and couldn't come to see me ,i felt very sad and had a feeling of being cheated.everything was just like a beautiful dream or a fairy  tell that was broken at  that moment.i could understood him totally,because he had to do what his boss in order to live .and i always understood him .but it seemed  that  he treated  me as a fool who just was satisfied with some  faulse stories.i didn't care whether he was handsome and wether he had a lot of possessions,what i really care is that he could undstand me like i understand him and he could  be with me and could turn up whenever i need.from the early begaining to the end ,i had any sense of  safe .i haven't seen  him since  we  became lovers.every feeling i felt on him just  came from my imaginary.who had net this kind of  love which everything just depened  on imaginary?i thought no one .so i choose to break up with him .although i was very sad ,i didn't want to continue this kind of sadness and stupid action .i wanted to be a strong-willed girl and  went on pursue my dream .before i arrive my destination ,no one could atop my steps.i will never say give up ,never.

06:48 AM Oct 03 2007



happy birthday then:)

04:52 AM Oct 03 2007


Yeah never say I am weak! Never say I am dead! Yeah you are the strongest! you are the one who got the will! You are the one who knows nothing about the past! and Look forward to living the future happily! Smile!! Always do! DOn't feel of pain because no one deserves a tear from your eyes! No one deserves a cry! But everyone is looking for a biiiiig smile! everyone is eeking that wide grin on your face! Care nothing about the betrayers! And care about only who care about you! Care about the oppressed and weak! Do not care about the oppressors!!

 Yes Dear!! When there is a will there is a way! A loving heart never hates! But a Loving may not care BUT forgives! A loving heart is full of white flavour of purity! It's yours my friend! Keep it up! God is Loving and God I hope Loves you! You'll find the one who really loves you! experiences help lead to the solution..and don't worry, your "Love" is coming at the end of the path, as long as you got PATIENCE and FAITH!! Gooooood Luck and smile forever!!...Alway be positive and LOOK at the BRIGHT side of your PROBLEMS!!:):):)

                Ahmad~ "LoyalLearner"