Need your help!

Hello! I am a Chinese student. Although I have learn English for several years, I still cannot manage the skill of writing very well. In order to improve this skill, I put on a essay writing by myself. So, I hope you can give your comment and point out my grammar mistakes.

Thank you very much.

So now let me begin my essay.

Nowadays,with the rapid increase in economic globalization, more and more people are aware that learning more skills and knowledge is a key way to win in the increasingly vehement competition around the whole word. That why lots of people in china are flocking to English classes and rushing to attend lectures on WTO.

The reasons for such phenomenon are as much social as economical. Above all, thanks to the great progress in the social productivity, especially in recent years, the chances for people around the world to communicate and cooperate together are far more than those in the past time. As we all know language is the one of the most significant factors to success of communication. That why more and more people begin to learn foreign languages in their spare time. In addition, when people work together, rules inevitably come out to let people get along with each other well. Therefore, the more international rules we know, the better we can adapt to the society.

So my conclusion is that ,if you want to get more promotions , higher pays ,better opportunities and so on in your life of work, learning more is the only way that you can win in the worldwide competition.

That is all! Thank you very much to spend your time in reading my essay.

Hello! I am a Chinese student. Although I have learn (learnt) English for several years, I still cannot (can not still) manage the skill of writing very well. In order to improve this skill, I put on a essay writing by myself. So, I hope you can give your comment and point out my grammar mistakes.

Thank you very much.

So now let me begin my essay.

Nowadays, with the rapid increase in economic globalization, more and more people are aware that learning more skills and knowledge is (are) a (the) key way to win (improve) in the increasingly vehement competition around the whole word. That why (that’s why) lots of people in china (China) are flocking to English classes and rushing to attend lectures on WTO.

The reasons for such phenomenon are as much social as economical. Above all, thanks (due )to the great progress in the social productivity, especially in recent years, the chances for people around the world to communicate and cooperate together are far (by far)  more than those in the past time. As we all know(,) language is the one of the most significant factors to success of communication. That (that’s) why more and more people begin to learn foreign languages in their spare time. In addition, when people work together, rules inevitably come out to let people get along with each other well (properly). Therefore, the more international rules we know, the better we can adapt to the society.

So my conclusion is that, if you want to get more promotions , higher pays, better opportunities and so on in your life of work (in your work life), learning more is the only way that you can win (improve) in the worldwide competition.

"Learnt" is the British version of "learned". If you are writing for Brits or people in the Commonwealth, the Queen or love letters to Prince Harry, then use British style words, otherwise you'd do best to make the American English dictionary your default in Microsoft Word for checking Spelling & Grammar.

When you use commas, they always fall to the right of the word without a space between the word and the comma. Then, following the comma, is a space which precedes the next word.

It would be good to get a handle on your Transitional Words and Phrases. I've noticed many Chinese English-learners know a lot of these and enjoy using them, sometimes to the point of overuse. Here would be my thinking on overuse: if your sentence contains more transitions than substance, you need to ease up on the transitions – especially in written English:

"I'd like to say this about that and furthermore, to make myself perfectly clear, with all my heart and soul, I tell you that I've written about 30 words and said nothing at all."

Here is a good page to read about such things:

http://www2.ivcc.edu/rambo/eng1001/transitions.htm

Your essay is not so bad, really. I just thought I'd take the opportunity to help you and others improve by maybe overdoing my criticism to stress some points.

If you want an explanation for my changes, ask specifically. Otherwise, this is my edit of your passage:

Nowadays, with the rapid increase in economic globalization, more and more people are aware that learning more skills and acquiring more knowledge is a key to winning in this increasingly competitive world. That is why lots of people in China are flocking to English classes and rushing to attend lectures on the WTO. The reasons for such phenomena are as much social as economic. Above all, thanks to the great progress in the social productivity, especially in recent years, the chances for people around the world to communicate and cooperate together are far more than in the past.

As we all know, language is one of the most significant factors of success in communication. That’s why more and more people begin to learn foreign languages in their spare time. In addition, when people work together, rules inevitably come out to let people get along with each other well. Therefore, the more international rules we know, the better we can adapt to the society.

im preparing for the CET 4 nowadays and gonna take the exam in this december , i think its kinda hard for me , especially on writing nd cloze part , anyway your composition is very good …..

You are so kindhearted to point out all the mistakes in my composition.I'll continue to practise my writing skill as well as possible.Thank you very much.

Thank your very much,Worldmikel.Your suggestion are very helpful.I'll try my best to handle on the use of Transitional Words and Phrases,and to avoid overuse.

The reason why Chinese English-learners like using Transitional Words very much can be attributed that our English teachers are Chinese.They always encourage us to use such words as many as we can in order to make our compositions vivid.In addition,they also make it as a standard to mark our essays.

The another reason is that we write our essays always in Chinese style,and Chinese people like using such words to emphasize their opinions.