Is there anything WRONG with the sentence?

More than 1,680 guitar players took part in what organizers say was
                                                                                    ^{^^^
a world record rendition.}

Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water—- a song that was the first many
                                                                              ^^{^^^^
of them ever learned.
              ^^^}^^

would u say what is right in this sentence

 let's see the answer of others

hi