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The Way We Were - With Used to Do

The Way We Were - With Used to Do English, baby! Video Lesson

Date: Aug 10 2010

Grammar: Used to Do vs Be Used to


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The best part of a relationship is usually the beginning. When you meet someone and fall in love, it’s so exciting to learn everything about each other. Everything you do together is fun and new.

As the relationship progresses, you start to get a routine. Routine is good. It’s how you build a life together. But you have to be careful not to fall into a rut or take your partner for granted.

Jason and Devan have been together for a long time now. Watch as Devan talks to Marni about what she and Jason used to do together and how their relationship has changed.

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Devan:  So, I know we haven’t been on the best terms lately...

Marni:  That’s true.

Devan:  ...but you’ve known me longer than anyone else, and you were there from the beginning of me and Jason’s relationship.

Marni:  What’s going on?

Devan:  It seems, like, with me and Jason, I don’t know what’s going on, but we don’t do any of the things we used to do together anymore.

Marni:  So, what did you use to do?

Devan:  We used to…you know, just watch the sunset and we’d just sit in silence. We didn’t even need to talk, we just had this understanding with each other. Now when we sit in silence it’s not like that unspoken understanding, it’s kind of an awkward, uncomfortable silence, you know?

Marni:  Huh. That doesn’t sound good, yeah.

Devan:  It’s almost like we know each other less now instead of more. And you know, he used to bring me presents all the time, and I can’t even remember the last time. He completely missed our anniversary. He didn’t get me anything. On my birthday he, like, stopped at Safeway on his way home and bought some $5 flowers, you know?

Marni:  So did he used to give you lots of fresh flowers and things like that, toys and fun gifts?

Devan:  Yeah, he used to give me, like, cute little toys… He doesn’t do any of those things anymore.

Marni:  Huh.

Devan:  Do you think that we’re just past the honeymoon phase and that this is normal? Or do you think that we aren’t going to work? Do you think that there’s a way to fix this and to salvage things?

Marni:  Yeah, absolutely! I mean, I don’t think this spells disaster for your relationship. But I think it sounds like you’re kind of craving the way things used to be, the little things that he did for you, so I would just bring it up to him. Talk to him about it. Say “you know I loved it when we used to do this, now we’re not really doing that, so let’s try to bring back some of those things that I liked.”

Devan:  Yeah, maybe we can start planning, like, date night or something romantic.

Marni:  There you go.

Devan:  I just don’t want the romance to die.

Marni:  No, no one does. No one does.


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Devan is worried because her boyfriend Jason forgot their anniversary. He never buys her presents anymore like he used to. She is worried that the romance is gone and their relationship will fail.

Marni suggests that she talk to Jason about their relationship. She thinks if they try, they can keep the romance alive and things can be like they used to be.

Have you ever had a relationship that changed over time? What did you used to do together, and what do you do now?



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vijay raj

vijay raj


Love never fails


12:28 PM Sep 12 2010 |

Sandra B.

Sandra B.


Routine is part of life…everything in the world is a routine like seasons…but in a relationship it has to be a different routine  including new thing…Cool 

04:39 PM Sep 01 2010 |




09:34 PM Aug 25 2010 |




those days lost to run after the wind,to ask a kiss and to want another hundred.Any days you will remember them,love that comes and love that goes

and you with your eyes of another colour tell me the same words of love,between a month in a year you will forget them,love that run away to me you will come back

I have always loved you,I have never loved you love that run away to me you run away

01:12 PM Aug 14 2010 |




In fact my relationship with my partner is the same ,since the begining and till now we are fighting :}}}}

03:46 PM Aug 12 2010 |




09:42 AM Aug 12 2010 |



Laughing Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self – seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails Laughing

08:41 PM Aug 11 2010 |




Hummm This is one of the things that makes me pretty sad in a relationship…I'm a guy that I do everything for my relationship is always harmonious and not to fall in rut but this doens't only depends on one person,the two people have to do everything toguether…And when I look back and I see everything to get lost it makes me pretty sad :( The fact is I always try to improve my relationship I never give up of it…

07:40 PM Aug 11 2010 |


Viet Nam

I like this "True love is always more valuable than romance". 

09:27 AM Aug 11 2010 |



United States

love is very hot and cool at the honeymoon phase than it is faded away because new ideas need time to be come out, so time is needed for both i believe. the begining is always energatic and new, so as long as you farmiliar to it , it become another term tolorence

09:53 PM Aug 10 2010 |




Embarassed love is forever i think that if you want to be with someone you need to put attention in all that is happening maybe you can say that he or she doesn't love you any more i think that you're losing your mind and only need to do another activities or can be that love is over but you can find another person for u so for that i know that love is forever cause always exist a person that love you <3

06:33 PM Aug 10 2010 |




mmm maybe jason has other love or he doesnt want the relationship any more;
are there others explanations ??


05:00 PM Aug 10 2010 |

Gucci Yeung


Do not complain or doubt just because your partner doesn't love you in the way you like. Do not let the lust of romance drive your feelings. Passion goes easily and love needs patience. As time goes by, you have to change your mind positively, not paying much attention to what you used to do but accepting the new way you live and discovering new fun from it. True love is always more valuable than romance.

04:00 PM Aug 10 2010 |


Viet Nam

Girls! This is the reality you have to accept! Courtship is the start of an instinct. Human tries to hide that instinct.

11:41 AM Aug 10 2010 |




I think such situation happens with many couples. During the first period of relationships you try to do the best you can to win your partner's heart. Then when you are together and everything is stable and balanced you have nothing to worry about and just stop working in your relationship. This crisis happenes every time. You should remember that everything can be worked out. For example if you want to receive flower regularly just tell him.

11:16 AM Aug 10 2010 |


Iran, Islamic Republic Of

it,s shame   loving someone just for present  ,,a real relationship will be more sweet than these things,,i used to be honest and i,m sure our romance never gone..Smile

10:53 AM Aug 10 2010 |




I'm in a relationship now and it's like it used to be. We do the same things like five years ago. What changed is the opinion about these things and doings. It's not a problem but something has to change in our relationship to be the next few years together, too.

10:28 AM Aug 10 2010 |

Vinni Lima

Vinni Lima


I never date, then I have no idea of how it would be.

02:21 AM Aug 10 2010 |





I had a similar relationship. At the beginning it was great, and very romantic. But it started to change with time.. so we were all the time breaking up and making up again and again. 


This came to a point that we discovered we weren't in love anymore, it was more like an illness. Finally, we broke up some months ago.. and we don't get on well at the moment.. but I hope it will change with the time because whenever I think of him, I have a smile on my face, and I know that it was such a great love that I will still remember in all my life.


01:16 AM Aug 10 2010 |

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