at sea

April.

i was not good at dealing with my bad mood.
sometimes i just can't hide my feelings,
i can't deny that i am a sensitive girl and sometimes overthinking.
i tried my best to control my freakish behavior while i was in a bad mood ,but to no avail.
it's really sorry to those who are caring me.
i was not willing to hide my Smiles,
but whenever i thought of what my folks told me, i would do it unintentionally.
i didn't treat yours in the clammy way on purpose.
i just couldn't control my attitude.

my dearest folks,
when can you two be proud of me instead of just looking down on me?
and stop calling me " RUBBISH "
coz you gave birth to me.
if i were the rubbish, you might be the rubbish as well.
No matter how much efforts i make,  you just can't see it .
Right?
then it's really OK for me....
coz forgiveness is everything.
i would learn how to forgive then and do what i want to do.

GOD BLESS ME.
i am  really exausted now...

March.

i hope i can deal with every problem eventually,
no matter how tough the process was.
but sometimes i just find that i couldn't do anything in the end
what on earth should i do besides the uselessly hard working?
i felt quite impotent to resist my Dear folks.
why i should do whatever they want me to do?
i am already not a little kid.
i don't purposely look everything in the dark side...
but when can I turn the miserable life into the cheerful life?
i was totally worn out in the end...

sometimes when it comes to my future, i am at sea.

"you must always do what you feel is best for yourself " said kathy.
How could the life be so tough?