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Give Him the Boot

Date: Jul 21 2006

Intro

1. Learn Vocabulary - Learn some new vocabulary before you start the lesson.

2. Read and Prepare - Read the introduction and prepare to hear the audio.

When the romance fades and you the lose that tingly feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see your boyfriend/girlfriend, you know it’s time to move on. But how do you break it off?

Some people prefer a clean break where each person goes their own way. Others try for something much more difficult – they try to remain friends with their former partner.

Do you think it’s possible to be friends with someone you dated in the past? Listen to Amanda and Erin talk about their expriences.

Dialog

1. Listen and Read - Listen to the audio and read the dialog at the same time.

2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Amanda

Erin

Amanda: Girls often have a hard time of breaking up with a guy because I think a girl’s instinct tells her when it’s just going to remain friends. Right?

Erin: Mm hm.

Amanda: So, can you tell me a little bit about when you hit that point, what’s that first step?

Erin: Well, first of all, I think going from a relationship to friends is a very, very rare thing. I actually just broke up with my boyfriend, and I was really willing and really trying to be as constructive as possible, but he wasn’t willing. And, um, you know, just got defensive and attacked me and just really, really hurtful, hateful things being said.

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Discussion

When a relationship becomes predictable and boring, or when it becomes unhealthy with problems of jealousy or distrust, it’s time to pack it in. Here are some tips on organizing your break up speech:

1. [Name], we need to talk.
2. Compliment her and summarize your feelings, such as:
- You’ve been wonderful, but I’m not completely happy in the relationship.
- I think you’re great, and we’ve had some wonderful times, but I’ve been thinking about what I want in my future.
3. Comment about how he/she will feel, such as:
- I know this must be hard for you.
- I think you feel the same way.
- This is going to be difficult.
4. Description of the relationship, such as:
- I’m just not happy in the relationship.
- Our relationship hasn’t been working out lately.
- What we had together was great, but I just need some time to myself now.
5. Statement of your decision, such as:
- I just can’t go on like this anymore.
- We need to go our separate ways.
- I think it’s best if we are just friends.

Put this together and you’ll have a suitable break up speech, as in the following example:

Suzie, we need to talk. You’ve been wonderful, but I’m not completely happy in the relationship. I think you feel the same way. Our relationship hasn’t been working out lately. I think it’s best if we are just friends.

It’s never easy to leave your lover, but if you’re unhappy then you’ve got no choice but to move on.

How do you prefer to break up with someone? Do you think it’s possible to remain friends after a break up?

Comments

Djana

Algeria

A clean break is the best choice,without complications…Friendship after dating is a Lie

kimnga

Viet Nam

I just prefer a clean break where each person goes his/her own way;however it’s not easy to be friends again because of some hurtful reasons that caused the break-up.

fabsir

Brazil

I prefer sitting down for a conversation and following the steps mentioned in this lesson. It is never easy though. Giving the boot or being booted triggers feelings of rejection which are hard to deal with.

ingrydmm

Brazil

i wouldn't say in step 5 "I think it's best if we are just friend" because you still like your boyfriend/girlfriend and this will be hard to you and him/her. I think that is suitable have a time alone to think about it and miss him/her… After all you will know if this is your really decision!