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Hurt Someone's Feelings
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Hurt Someone's Feelings English, baby! Video Lesson
伤害别人的感情

Learn the Simple Future Tense

Date: Jan 03 2012

Themes: Soap Opera

Grammar: Simple Future Tense

Intro

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2. Read and Prepare - Read the introduction and prepare to hear the audio.

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American kids have a saying for when someone says something mean: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Of course, adults know that words can hurt. If someone hurts your feelings, it can feel like you got punched, or worse.

Just calling someone a name or saying something mean isn’t enough to hurt someone’s feelings. You have to take the hurtful comment seriously to get your feelings hurt. People often get their feelings hurt when a weakness is pointed out in a hurtful way.

Dale has gained a lot of weight lately. Jeff thinks it’s time for him to say something about it. But can he do it without hurting anyone’s feelings?

美国的孩子在某人说了一些难听的话后会说:“棍棒伤我身,恶语奈我何”。但是,大人知道言语也会伤人。如果某人伤害了你的感情,你会感觉如同重击或者更糟。
仅仅直呼其名或说难听的话不足以伤害某人的感情。极其严重的恶语才会伤害你的感情。人们往往在被别人恶意揭短时感情会受到伤害。
德尔最近胖了很多。杰夫认为此时应该提醒他。但是他能否在提醒德尔时不伤害他的感情吗?

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Dialog

1. Listen and Read - Listen to the audio and read the dialog at the same time.

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Devan

Devan

Jeff

Jeff

Dale

Dale

Devan:  Hey guys, want to know what I’m going to do right now?

Jeff:  Does it have to do with that wedding?

Devan:  Yes! I’m going to go taste cakes. Who wants to come?

Jeff:  Not me.

Dale:  Oh, me! Me! I’ll go!

Devan:  You want to go?

Jeff:  Dale, I don’t think you need any more sweets for the day. You already had that bag of cookies earlier.

Dale:  Hey, that was the lunch dessert. I’m eating my snack. I think that’s a great snack dessert. I’m in.

Devan:  OK.

Dale:  I’m in.

Jeff:  Desserts? Snacks? Um, yeah, no more snacks. No more desserts and enough with the pizza too.

Dale:  That’s my favorite kind of pizza!

Jeff:  That’s your favorite kind of pizza? Look, Dale, I’m going to be blunt with you. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you’ve put on a lot of weight. It’s pretty apparent.

Dale:  It is?

Jeff:  I mean, you hang out in sweats all the time. You never really get up. You just kind of stay in that chair.

Dale:  OK. I get it. I get it.

Jeff:  Just take a couple laps.

Dale:  OK. I’ll just take a walk.

Jeff:  I’m just looking out for you.

Dale:  I’ll see you guys later, alright? I’ll see you guys later. Alright.

Jeff:  Alright, bud.

Devan:  I can’t believe you just hurt Dale’s feelings like that.

Jeff:  Hurt his feelings? Look, alright, he’s a big boy. He can understand a little constructive criticism.

Devan:  Maybe so, but I really think you just made him sad. I really think you hurt his feelings.

Jeff:  He needs to hear it, Devan. OK?

Devan:  Well, now I don’t have anybody to go taste cakes with me, so I guess you’re going to have to come. I mean, I don’t really want you to come, since you are my least favorite employee, but you’re the only one left, so…

Jeff:  Oh, thanks. Way to hurt my feelings, too.

Devan:  Too bad. Let’s go.

 

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Lesson MP3

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Discussion

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Devan needs someone to taste wedding cakes with her. Of course, Dale volunteers.

Jeff says he thinks Dale has had enough sweets today. But Dale says he had dessert after lunch. He just ate a snack, so now he needs a dessert to follow that.

That’s when Jeff decides it’s time to be blunt. He tells Dale that he is not healthy and needs to exercise more and eat less. He says he doesn’t mean to hurt Dale’s feelings, but clearly he does. Jeff wanted to give constructive criticism, but he did it in a mean way, so Dale got sad.

Dale leaves, so now Devan still needs someone to taste cakes with her. She tells Jeff she likes the other employees better than him, but he will have to come anyway. Jeff says she hurt his feelings.

Have you ever had your feelings hurt?

 

Comments

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ttsuka

ttsuka

Japan

Talking of hurting someone’s feelings, I just read about a protest by a group of Chinese people to a late night show and its host, Jimmy Kimmel.  The incident happened in a small section during the show back in October, where a small panel of kids were asked to make suggestions about the huge debt the US government owes to China.  To this topic, one of the kids said “kill everyone in China.” 


Some say that it was just a joke by a 6-year old and it was even not a good one made in a comedy show.  So, Chinese people should take it as such and be good sports.  Against this, some Chinese argue that the Chinese should prost loud and clear because the lack of such firm stance in the past has fed disrespect. Others suggest that they should use this as an opportunity to engage in dialogues about sensitivity to minorities, particularly considering the fact that Chinese Americans do have experienced institutionalized discrimination in the past.


I saw the video clip of the problem scene.  I was surprised that the TV station did not edit it before airing.  Clearly, caring about hurting someone’s feelings was the last thing for them to consider.    

12:35 AM Nov 13 2013 |

zekra cutegirl

Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

i think we can give advice for people without hurt thier feelings…...in polite way


so we will advice them and keep our relationship good….

12:25 AM Mar 19 2012 |

sunshine_w

sunshine_w

Canada

I guess


many people are not able to accept any critism


no matter, it s a hard word or constructive words.


Nowaday so many human are strong in their own abilties


and those don t allow any critism at all


And if somebody say


oh, sorry, you are wrong, these ppl explode with their emotion


In Germany, we have lots of these ppl


and I call them stupid.


when somebody makes things wrong


- and all of us are human – so we are not 100 % , we should accept it.


and when another human say


sorry, it s for bidden to park here, or,


here are  stick, to let the cashier know, your  goods are finished and the next one starts.  95 from 100 people become angry, and say


why it s your reason to say that ?


it s my reason because the cashier shouldn t do that, Her/his boss never ever like it.


So if I have a head for thinking, not for a hairdresser only, I will open my mouth, to protect others



it s simple, but we need what we call  Zivil courage in German.


01:05 PM Jan 14 2012 |

 julito

julito

Argentina

WWONGSAPUN,  Hello,,, After reading  your post of Jan 7 , I know that   you are  a  person  unable to hurt  somebody´s  feeling..   Smile

12:08 PM Jan 14 2012 |

1 person likes this

wwongsapun

wwongsapun

Thailand

Julito!....I understand with you want to suggest me Okay, I will try to do. :D

11:44 AM Jan 14 2012 |

ahmedghieth9

Egypt

i love advice special in polite ways ,in perosn ,without felling hurt

09:56 AM Jan 14 2012 |

1 person likes this

 julito

julito

Argentina

WWONGSAPUN.    I believe    that we should never start  with a negative statement. An example:  when trying pointing out  a shortcoming in a person that is learning a new language. we should not say: your  English is very poor. Is better to encourage our friend ,saying : you are learning fast  ,try to speak and read more  ,you will  master the language  quicker .  I think that  this is  what you do.

04:11 PM Jan 07 2012 |

2 people like this

wwongsapun

wwongsapun

Thailand

It’s difficult for say about constructive criticism to someone. Most of people like to hear with sweet word, praise rather than to criticism of it. Often that I try to  seach for a good word to suggest someone to improve with themselves. And aslo, while of my word should to keep a good feeling so which doesn’t hurt feeling to anyone.


 

03:55 PM Jan 07 2012 |

beautysuomi

Finland

He DID hurt the feelings of the fat guy, he made those comments but he really didn´t even care about the fat guy’s health or aparience.

05:08 AM Jan 07 2012 |

tauro4

tauro4

Argentina

I believe that Dale can to do a lot thing.


I see that it want to add themes for the party.That´s good!:)

03:55 AM Jan 07 2012 |

Carla Cristina Fagundes

Brazil

Well, I think we’re imperfect and sometimes, even if we don’t intend to do it, we’ll hurt someone’s feelings, with our words or acts…
I have already had my feelings hurt…someone made hurtful comments about me and I didn’t like it! Later,I realized I needed that comments to change myself! They were useful! But the secret is in the way you express yourself, your opinion and in what do you think about something or someone! Wink

02:25 AM Jan 06 2012 |

Nicte ha

Nicte ha

Mexico

Snoopyboy:


Very wise answer to Ryo!


Ryo:


My heart with u



06:59 PM Jan 05 2012 |

1 person likes this

snoopyboy

snoopyboy

Antarctica

Ryo, it’s a good thing you joined this website. Here, you will get all kind of  supports you need.Your opinions are welcomed anytime,  you can express yourself freely. We don’t judge people here, we interact with people.But we only have words, and we understand it must be tough what you are enduring.Remain strong. I personally was a very rebelious kid, I have my life to live and can nobody live it for me.. period.

06:34 PM Jan 05 2012 |

nfrtary

nfrtary

Egypt

@Ryo , god with you really but i expect from you doing something can save you from all this misery – you can do it girl so common 

06:19 PM Jan 05 2012 |

Jojo634178212

China

actually , while you just do something wrong  or said the inappropriate words with people , maybe it will hurt somebody’s felling , but in my wiew ,it also depends .


i mean , if the one you talked to is your best friend , and when she/he do wrong things ,you can speak in patience  to her/him ,but with positive tones and words. and just told her/him what’s your feeling and you can point the mistakes her/him made . because they are your best friends, and you must guide them in the right way when they were mislead . otherwise ,you will also learn something from others .


hurt someone’s feeling ,it may make one feel bad , even more can let someone hate you . so how to deal with that ?


i with the suggestion that you can show your feeling and use positive way ,and it also depends on different situations. if you toward someone you are familiar ,you can point the mistakes they made . if not ,you must be a little polite with saying something ,or with suggestion tone .


however ,it may occur sometimes that you hurt someone you didn’t know . if it came to that situation , you must learn to see clearly with others emotion , because it is the way to make friend or communicating .


afterall , people sometimes are weak in dealing something ,especially in emotion . so be patience ,be sincere ,that is the right way to make friends.

04:41 PM Jan 05 2012 |

kukuka

kukuka

Ukraine

yes of course. I mean the answer is yes. I’m pretty sure everyone got his feelings hurt at least once in a while. People are being blunt when you don’t expect it and it’s sad I think but what can you do? just try to move on and don’t take it too seriously. But I have to admit that constructive criticism can be quite a positive thing…just one has to know how to accept it. It comes with the lapse of time though…

02:51 PM Jan 05 2012 |

serena_xu

China

Yes.I remember one time I got back together with my ex-bf whom my sister hates a lot.When she found out that day,she refused to talk to me no matter how hard I tried.She wouldn’t listen to any of my words.I felt pretty sad because we were on such a great terms all the time and things like this never happened before.My feelings were badly hurt.I just couldn’t help crying. Although deep down inside I know what she had done was for my own good.Finally I came to realize that he is not my guy,not a good choice for me.So I ended up breaking up with him .

01:04 PM Jan 05 2012 |

1 person likes this

AUL

AUL

Azerbaijan

maybe u right Snowlover


but person should think about him/yourself


if i can be hurt with this word i can never say it to another person


may be i’am wrond i dont know

05:09 AM Jan 05 2012 |

snowlover

snowlover

China

if we are friends,we should do right things at any time no matter whether we hurt the other side or not。

05:01 AM Jan 05 2012 |

CatcheR

CatcheR

Iceland

Hi Ryo, I am sorry to hear that, but I always see you online, I don’t think your situation now is still that bad, it’s one of freedom to use the internet and you are able too, I hope you can get what you want friend, good luck :)

02:32 AM Jan 04 2012 |

2 people like this

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