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Unfriending
Unfriending

Learn English: meaning of unfriending English lesson

Date: Feb 05 2019

Themes: Friend, Pop Culture, Tech

Grammar: Zero Conditional

Intro

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Friends. We love them, but we also get mad at them. We don’t see enough of them, and then sometimes we see too much of them. Our friends are there for us in both the good times and the bad times. Friendship takes work, but life would be pretty boring without it.

We started using the word friend as a verb about ten years ago. It’s common to describe the connection between two people on a social networking site like Facebook as “friending.” But if you can friend someone, you can also unfriend them, and it’s difficult not to take it personally if you’ve been removed from someone’s list of friends. Sometimes you know why, but often it’s just confusing.

Lily is sad because she was unfriended by someone, and Rafael is trying to help her understand. Read more in today’s English lesson about internet relationships.

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Lily

Lily

Rafael

Rafael

Lily:  Rafa.

Rafael:  Hey, Lily. What’s going on?

Lily:  I just got unfriended by someone on Facebook.

Rafael:  Don’t take it personally. I do that to people all the time.

Lily:  What? You do that to people?

Rafael:  I’m the kind of person who likes to just be efficient. If I don’t talk to somebody who’s my Facebook friend for a while, I’m just going to unfriend them. No offense!

Lily:  But what you’ve got to understand is, even though social networking... it can seem really removed from actual life, people are actually investing a lot in their profiles. And it breaks my heart when people don’t want to hear about me anymore.

Rafael:  This is actually reminding me of a story of a friend I had on Facebook who kept sending me all of these messages that were just bugging me. One day I… I’m unfriending them.

Lily:  Well, but don’t you feel like you owe it to someone to talk to them in person before?

Rafael:  But Lily, what if you haven’t talked to them in ages? Think about it.

Lily:  I’m still hurt. I know it’s a fact of life that people grow apart. But I feel like if you’re going to be someone’s friend on Facebook in the first place, don’t you owe it to them to actually be friends with them? Or make that effort to get to know them better if they’re your friends? Why would you friend somebody who wasn’t your friend in the first place?

Rafael:  Do you miss those people that unfriended you?

Lily:  No.

Rafael:  Just move on.

 

Grammar Point

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Lesson MP3

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Discussion

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Lily’s feelings are hurt. Someone unfriended her on Facebook, and it’s difficult for her not to take it personally. In Lily’s opinion, people shouldn’t “friend” each other on a social networking site if they’re not interested in each other’s lives. It doesn’t make sense to her that she can be friends with someone one day but not the next.

Rafael is very practical when he thinks about unfriending. He understands why someone would take him off their list of friends if they haven’t spoken or seen each other in ages. Likewise, he has no problem with taking people off of his own list of friends. Rafael believes that he’s being efficient by removing people who he doesn’t know very well.

Have you ever been unfriended? How did it make you feel? Are you OK with unfriending people yourself?

 

Comments

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asef

asef

Afghanistan

I dont like to unfriend people in social network unless they misbehave or disobey the rules and regulation . 

11:12 AM Feb 05 2019 |

bluesky97

bluesky97

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Hmmm🤔


I unfriend many people in social networks so others have the same right.


No problem😏


Sometimes we dont feel good to have some as our friends in our private online pages so we unfriend them and it dosent mean we are not friends in real world.

09:11 AM Feb 05 2019 |

Sunflower69

Germany

It is very difficult for me to unfriend people in real life. Unfriending people on a social networking site means no problem for me. When someone unfriend me in real life, it is not easy don’t taking it personally. I understand that people often grow apart, but I think, it is important to fight for a real friendship. And if there are any problems, they’ll should be discussed. Many people don’t do that. They think friends are replaceable.

06:01 PM Feb 04 2019 |

fxarrufatSuper Member!

Spain

In my opinion, regarding social networking it is convenient to unfriend people if you have no contact with them for a long time or the relationship is toxic.

05:40 PM Feb 04 2019 |

alexander_45

United Kingdom

Unfriending is the hardest part of a person’s life.Research says that unfriending hurts more than a divorce.I’d like to hear your opinions about unfriending.

05:07 PM Feb 21 2015 |

YellovY

YellovY

Aruba

It’s hard sometimes when we be apart with anyone we like on facebook or twitter and pother social media. I personally have not been unfriended. Not a big deal maybe.

01:45 AM Feb 21 2015 |

Jordana Brasileira

Brazil

I think I´ve never been unfriended. But I have already unfriended people. Once, I unfriended one of my best friends because we had a little discussion. It was very childish, now I can see this. He made a campaign for me add him again, it was very cute. This is the only unfriended case I regret. I have removed a lot of people from my facebook that I didnt know, or didnt talk to. And I feel really great about it. Now I only have real friends on my fb.

02:57 AM Feb 20 2015 |

xin7

xin7

Chile

Unfortunately being friends on Facebook or other social networks doesn’t mean that we’re actually friends. It’s very common to add acquaintances or people we’ve just met. So I agree with Rafael. It’s better to being efficient with friend lists and mantain only people that are really important for me.

12:39 AM Feb 16 2015 |

tar1ta

tar1ta

Antarctica

@ EVAfrommexico


I agree with you if it is talked of penpals who you don’t know in real life. It should be no problem for us if someone who we really don’t know unfriends us. But what should we do with playmates, classmates, former neighbors etc.? We might be friends and even the best friends a long time ago but now we maybe just annoy one another.


I think such persons don’t unfriend me because it seems to them impolite or unfriendly. I do the same :)

08:10 PM Feb 15 2015 |

EVAfrommexico

Mexico

I agree social networking can be removed easily from our actual life. 


As for me, webs are only lo learn and get good info as much as it can be possible (idiosyncrasies, ideologies, ideas, culture, languages, history, maths, music, geography and more)

07:45 PM Feb 15 2015 |

2 people like this

tar1ta

tar1ta

Antarctica

@ Reader, now that you’ve read this lesson, are you going to do it more often? )


In real life a person who has nothing in common with other person just quit meeting him/her or speaking to him/her. So unfriending is usual practice in the Internet age.

06:20 PM Feb 10 2015 |

2 people like this

Reader

Reader

Taiwan

Unfriending? I seldom did it before.

05:45 PM Feb 10 2015 |

1 person likes this

tar1ta

tar1ta

Antarctica

@ Seiyf_khawas


Why are you going to do such a thing? :-) I mean deleting an account.


I suppose sometimes a person may be not in the mood for communicating with friends but…


If the question arise: my previous account was cancelled because it was connected to Facebook page and I don’t want to use Facebook any more.

10:55 AM Feb 09 2015 |

1 person likes this

ola33

ola33

Japan

Ok, definetly, to unfriend is a very negative thing. Mostly it’s because of our differences. It’s understandable, we’re from different countries, we’re of different ages, we have different background. So it’s common if we don’t see eye to eye and some comments seems annoying ,but isn’t it the best way to improve our social and relationship skills in this kind of differences. Let’s stop for a second and rather then to unfriend , find some fascinating characters which are indoubtly unique and precious.

12:00 AM Feb 09 2015 |

3 people like this

Seiyf_khawas

Turkey

to delete an account is same with unfriending ??


if yes, ı did it many times…


and ı will do it again..suddenly…without saying anything ,goodbye to friends..


11:22 PM Feb 08 2015 |

3 people like this

tar1ta

tar1ta

Antarctica

Oh, how could I miss such an interesting lesson? I agree with Rafael.


I’m still going to unfriend some persons but I think it’s impolite :(


There are my former neighbors and classmates in my list of friends. We have nothing in common and some of their posts seem to me irritating. I haven’t talked to them in ages. So I just don’t follow them.

05:13 PM Feb 08 2015 |

mojtaba

mojtaba

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

Well.I think  if I have two real friends it’s better of have a lot that never can’t help you but about social network its different I like have a lot because you can cemenucat with and transfer with them your opinions




02:09 PM Feb 08 2015 |

2 people like this

alina-malina

Kazakhstan

Hi everyone. Thank for the lesson. I’m the one who is removing ppl from friend’s list. I don’t do it every month but from time to time i realize that my ‘friends’ aren’t involve in my social life. Of course, being inet friend doesn’t mean you should “like” my every photo and comment my sentences. But i need to ‘heear something’ from my friends from time to time. Actually i do something to my friends: write, like, support them and if i know a person in real life i communicate.


In my opinion it’s better to have 10-50 friends and know about their life than having 100-500 and every time try to find out who is he/she.


Once I talked to a boy, who was trying to add me, he had about 400 friends. I asked if he knew at least 50% of them. He answered he didn’t know even 30%. Is it normal?

11:09 AM Feb 08 2015 |

ScienceBoy

ScienceBoy

Turkey

Thank you dear Shoba, I am glad you found it interesting.

12:52 PM Feb 07 2015 |

2 people like this

Shoba

Shoba

Sri Lanka



Hello dear ScienceBoy,


You have given us some food for thought by your sound comment. Specially, the information you have shared about the number of friends we can manage is very interesting. 


Take care.



12:43 PM Feb 07 2015 |

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