My MESSY Blog

It was like they waited to tell each other things that had never been told before. What he had to say was terrible and afraid. But what he would tell her was so true that it would make everything all right. Maybe it was a thing that could not be spoken with words or writing. Maybe he would have to let her understand this in a different way. That was the feeling she had with him.

"Listen," he broke the silence. "What I have been trying to say is... I... hate you. No, I lo... I hate you... with all my heart. I hate you, because you are you, and I am me, and I am nothing without you."

"Is he trembling? He "hates" me? Hate from the bottom of his heart? OMG, he hates me. Did you hear that? He HATES ME! Hate could never sound so charming and melodious to my ears if somebody else used that word... HATE... I hate you, too! And I have butterflies in my heart when you are around..."

She looked him straight in the eye. Would words suffice to show her joy? "Yes, I HATE you more than you hate me. Do you feel, though, this boisterous merriment in my heart?"

MESSY 

5 years ago when I first entered the door of my department building, it was a whole new world to me, so giant, different and brandnew... Even the smell inside the building was quite uncommon to me. First thing that I had on my mind when I entered that door was "5 whole years... The start of a brandnew journey. New world, and long way to go. 5 years will not fly by."

Throughout these 5 years, I had quite a range of feelings from anger to happiness. There were many nights that I wrote papers till the small hours in the morning without winking my eyes even for a second and attended classes all day long feeling like a real Zombie. There were times that I cried out of anger when I was unable to come through homeworks, papers and projects. I once felt extremely humiliated when I was not let into the classroom for 2 minutes late arrival. I got my first low mark in an insignificant course and I felt truly ashamed. I skipped many classes in first grade indifferently just because they did not interest me much... 

First time in my life, I supported what I strongly believed to be true to the end and the assisstant professor appreciated my self-confidence loudly in public. I got applauded warmly by many people at my first acting experience. I got my first job offer but had to decline it owing to my hectic schedule. I earned my own money first time in my life, and as soon as I had it in my purse, I bought gifts for my family. I spent all the money in one go but the grandest joy of it cannot be explained... 

As I experienced, I knew myself better. All this, including more, happened in 5 years which I thought would never fly by. I had graduation ball last night and danced the night away with my classmates without stopping. I felt like, as I danced, all those troubles and pains that I had collected in my brain were moved away with each movement of my body. And at the end of the night, I felt extremely relieved, not to mention my bruised feet after being on high heels for long hours. And finally, I thought to myself, "This is not the end. In contrary, every end is a new beginning." 

MESSY ★

Here is a funny conversation that made me laugh hard last night:

My mother was on the phone with my middle brother who studies in a distant city, and mesmerized by his outstanding achievements, she was bestowing her favors on him. For a second, I overheard her words to him: "Be as glittering as a piece of gold. Always shine and stand out!"

"Mom, he is a piece of gold and I am an invaluable diamond. Welcome to treasure island." I said suddenly.  I was just messing with her, and my youngest brother's remark (10) made me guffaw:

"Mom, I am a solitaire ring, aren't I?" 

I can understand gold and diamond but "solitaire ring" would not come to my mind. Kids know more than we imagine. 

MESSY