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October 14, 2010

High school life is one of the greatest part of my life, since freshmen to senior year. Oh how I miss the crazy talk, the simple bonding, the bonfire when there's a camping, I miss our awkwardness, copying, teasing each other, the gossips and last but not the least my first crush and my first love *winks*winks*winks*

Way back into high school life, I have a crush on someone. He is actually my classmate, it's weird coz I feel uncomfortable everytime there's a reporting. I feel like I have to be good at it, otherwise he will turn off.

He is shy and quiet type of guy, smart, neat and handsome, at least that's what I think about him *smiles* he used to tease me with other guy, I kinda like it though coz he didn't teased other girl the way he teased me. Why I like it? coz it made us close to each other and for me that was important. Of course it hurts inside, but I'm not that kind of girl girl who will do the first move... no wayyy! besides that was my first crush and doing the first move was big deal during that time, you know what I'm sizzlin'...we're old school heheh.

We finished our high school without his knowledge about my feelings for him. Till a month ago, I was surprised when my high school classmate texted me. We talked everything for 3 hours, that's actually a pretty long talk and enough to hear that she and the guy I had a crush on back then, have been together *bitchface* but they're already over *smiles*

The name of the guy is Fred by the way :) My classmate told me that when they were together Fred used to talk to her about me *evil grins*, and she confessed she was jealous. He talked about me to her all the time, well who's girlfriend won't get jealous with that?? maybe those who are open minded, not that she ain't, opppps that's a bit confusing hahaha but I don't know.... whatever. Anyway, she told me that Fred really liked me, Swear to God that made me melt and shiver so f*cking bad hahaha why the heck he didn't told me that before? that's a total bummer, if he did we might still together till now *sigh*

It's depressing to realise that we're in love with each other but we can't find a way to express it. He might be coward to tell me the truth, knowing I won't love him back. And I only knew that now, now that we cant be together anymore coz she told me that Fred left her for a girl.

I really believe he didn't love her the way he *cough* loved me coz he left her..awww! hahaha. Too bad after our senior year we didn't have any communication. He didn't find a way to contact me after that coz he thinks he's just a friend to me. He really has no idea how he meant to me and that I love him too.

My classmate told me, he is married that's why they broke up but she is not totally sure about the married thing coz Fred is a Marine Engineer now, he is working somewhere far away and only his parents told my classmate about that matters. I really don't want to believe that he won't be mine anymore. But that's okay, at least I knew he loved me too and once in his life I became a part of it.

So far that's the best and sweetest and at the same time the saddest part of my love life. Can't forget about him, not till my heart stops beating:)

I truly believe that first flame never dies.

More entries: The killer disasters (1), I don't like messenger, I'm back! Miss y'all sweeties, just a short post for tonight LOL (7), Way back into high school life (2), The OC (9), The Vampire Diaries (6), add me on facebook, err I'm back! (4), Remember me vs. The runaways

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05:08 AM Oct 18 2010



I agree with you Sat, our lives during that time was way too simple but extremely fun and memorable. I really wish I could bring back the time, high school life is the best thing that ever happened into my life. I am so thankful that one's in my life those momeries happened.

Have a nice day my friend ^_^

08:47 PM Oct 17 2010


Iran, Islamic Republic Of


really really the world of the time of school is very very different with now!

that time was very nice and amazing than now!