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Forgiveness

Unreal Past Tense

Date: May 20 2011

Themes: Friend

Grammar: The Unreal Past

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Intro

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People say that you should turn the other cheek when someone wrongs you. But what if someone did something so mean you just couldn’t forgive them? Or what if the same person wronged you in the same way over and over? Sometimes, it’s just too hard to let go.

Everyone has different ideas about what’s forgivable, and what isn’t. Some couples are able to stay together even if one partner has an affair. Other relationships break up over very small problems. Find out if Devan and Ella find it easy or hard to forgive.

Dialog

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2. Study - Read the dialog again to see how the vocab words are used.

Ella

Devan

Ella: I have the hardest time forgiving people. I don’t know if it’s a pride issue, but I just hold a grudge for so long.

Devan: Really, you can’t let go of things really easily?

Ella: Not at all. I can’t turn the other cheek, especially if I feel like I got wronged. I feel like that person needs to be punished with me not being in their life.

Devan: See, I’m the exact opposite. Sometimes I feel like it takes more energy to hold a grudge than it does to just move on.

Ella: It’s so hard for me to let go. I feel like not forgiving someone really just proves a point.

Devan: So what would be an example of a situation that you just absolutely could not forgive someone for?

Ella: I give people three chances, so the first two times I forgive, but number three, regardless of what the situation is, I can’t. That’s like my number count.

Devan: Even if it’s something really petty?

Ella: Yeah.

Devan: What if, like, your friend had a crush on the same boy that you had a crush on, and she dated him?

Ella: It depends on who had the crush first.

Devan: Well, I’ll be careful to never cross you. I don’t want to be on your bad side.

Ella: Three chances.

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Discussion

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Ella finds it hard to forgive people. She thinks that not forgiving someone who has wronged her is a good way to teach that person a lesson. She thinks it is especially hard to forgive someone who wrongs her more than once. She gives people three chances. After that, she won’t forgive them, no matter what they did.

Devan is the opposite. She usually forgives people. To her, it is more difficult to hold a grudge than to forgive someone. So she is pretty tolerant and forgiving.

Do you find it easy or hard to forgive people?

Comments

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sibylla_3

Italy

I can forgive but forget is hard for me….. i loose trust in people if they hurt me ….

kimnga

Viet Nam

For me, to give someone a second chance is still depending on what they wronged to you . It’s all right if they did something by mistake or by accident ; however, if they mean to do something that might affect to my prestige, I don’t think that I would give them a second chance.

roze1997

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

when someone do sth really bad with me , i forgive her but i cant forget what she did . . . i try but i cant :( and i usually cant love these people like before !

_Kate_

Ukraine

Last time I pondered over this issue in my childhood. Now see it from a different perspective. It`s easier presented here.
So, I think everybody has to learn to forgive anyway but it doesn`t compulsory to keep contact with those people if you find them too unpleasant, just don`t continue you relationships…

sherryleio

China

well if someone treats me bad, not only once, and I would just walk away and do not want to have any connection or contact with him/her again. I do not know if this is called forgiveness or not. i do not hold on a grudge against him, it takes me more energy, i just move on.

Well, there is a word “CROSS” in this article. cross someone, explanation is wrong someone or betray someone. It reminds me of one sentence I saw before ”I will cross the world for someone like you”, almost all people think the meaning is “walk across the world to search you”, something like that. I think the correct explanation should be ” i will betray the world for someone like you”. Am I right? what you do think about it?

ameur

Algeria

But you can not never forget it is not easy to forget .But we must continue our life forward and try to forgive and tolerate.

DarknessLight

Germany

I think it actually depends on the situation. Sometimes people do things to you that can be extremly hard to tolerate. However, I try as much as I can to forgive people, because holding grudges is not good (psychologically) and it makes me uneasy.So, it’s better to forgive people and be done with the problem for good.

saeedshin

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

I think everything is gone change and you could not assign some rules for ever in your life

I am a serious person who never do anything without any sence of situation however sometime I change my idia about others by thinking about which events are cost for me to hold a grudge

samirah

Saudi Arabia

I will not forgive anyone wronged to me…iam not tolerant .

julito

Argentina

I think that is better to let thing go and don´t hold a grude about petty issues. I am self-employed but suppose that a colleague or coworker pissed you off and you have to meet that person every day at work , how unpleasant must be to ignore him/her and not even to say hello. Serious offenses are other things.

Vina Novalina

Indonesia

I don’t forgive people cos i am weak. I forgive them cos i am strong enough to know people make mistake.

its_angeline

Philippines

i forgive people, but i don’t forget the things they’ve done.

temimi

Iraq

we must give a special attention to our future and must forget sad memories in our past.

leragrankina

Russian Federation

I’ve known my best friend for 13 years, and she has done many unpleasent thinks more then three times, but i’ve done it too. We’re people and make mistakes at least once a year, but i can’t imagine my life without this fellow! I can forgive her everything becouse she can do it too!

Lety

Brazil

We are human being and we can make mistakes and to forgive is divine.

I forgive people so easily, I can’t hold a grudge.

Madline

Jordan

really we have to forgive the otheres and we haven’t to hold a grudge for along time but at the same time we haven’t to allow to the others to play in our feelings and wrong us as they like we have to make red lines and no one have to exceed them :)