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Have One's Heart Set On

Learn English: meaning of 'have one's heart set on"

Date: Feb 17 2015

Themes: Friend, Romance, School, Soap Opera

Grammar: Gerunds vs. Infinitives

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Intro

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It can be easy to wallow in self-pity when you don’t get what you want. Children have an especially hard time with it. Not getting a toy or losing a game can easily make a kid cry. But it’s not just children who feel sad in these situations. Adults get disappointed, too.

If you have your heart set on getting a job but it’s given to someone else, you’ll probably feel terrible. People who sell houses tell buyers not to get their hearts set on any one house, because someone else might offer more money for it. Of course, everyone has the experience of having one’s heart set on a relationship working out. We’re not always successful in love, though. That’s just life!

Brian tells Gary about two things he had his heart set on in today’s English lesson about wishing.

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Dialog

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Gary

Brian

Gary: How have you been? Do you miss Lily a lot?

Brian: Totally. I had my heart set on getting serious with her, but now she lives thousands of miles away.

Gary: I know. But it’s important not to wallow in self-pity.

Brian: I’m actually working hard on not wallowing.

Gary: Oh, yeah?

Brian: I registered for an online class.

Gary: Did you really?

Brian: At the university.

Gary: Good for you. What are you taking?

Brian: Human anatomy.

Gary: Why human anatomy?

Brian: I met with the advisor and she showed me the syllabus. It seemed really interesting. Plus I’ve always excelled at science.

Gary: Oh, really?

Brian: It’s true. In fact, I had my heart set on being a doctor when I was little.

Gary: No kidding. What changed?

Brian: Girls. I was always more interested in dating than studying.

Gary: That doesn’t surprise me.

Brian: But I registered online. Classes start next Tuesday. And I still have to get my textbook.

Gary: Do you want to go get it? I could use a walk.

Brian. That’d be great. Thanks for being a great friend, Gary.

Gary: I understand what you’re going through. Come on, let’s go.

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Discussion

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Brian is sad that Lily’s living in Paris. He wanted their relationship to become serious, and now that can’t happen. But Brian isn’t going to sit around and feel unhappy all day. He has signed up for a human anatomy class at the university.

Gary finds it interesting that Brian is taking a science course, but Brian says that he has always been good at science. In fact, he wanted to be a doctor when he was young. Gary’s surprised to hear this, but mostly he’s pleased that Brian is staying busy. He doesn’t want his friend to feel badly about his love life.

Can you understand Brian’s feelings? Have you ever had your heart set on something that didn’t work out?

Comments

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allenzhaojl

China

I have had my heart set on many things, but one stayed and one went away.

khsrow

Iran, Islamic Republic Of

I love the way you are teaching

xin7

Chile

It’s so important not to wallow on self pity and stay busy to avoid unhappiness. Poor Brian, I hope he can move on.

tar1ta

Antarctica

Hi, julito,

I would like to visit Argentina some day… I have heard a lot about your famous steaks and wines. Pizza? Your culture is a real mix!

julito

Argentina

dear tarita,

come to Argentina , say good bye to the penguins and polar bears , you will have a first hand experience of our people, regarded by many as social, pedantic ,soccer fanatics ,if you aren`t vegan you could taste our famous steaks ,wines and pizza. by the way , i am not much of a chatter except when i am among you guys. I really enjoy our conversation and how nice all of you are.

tar1ta

Antarctica

@julito,

So there live more sociable people in Argentina, I suppose. :)

lostpoem

Turkey

julito

Argentina

@ Tarita, i know that but we speak spanish , that rule doesn`t apply for us. jejejejeje

tar1ta

Antarctica

@julito,

I thought it’s the rule in English-speaking countries to answer “fine, thanks” etc. and not to draw a picture of problems )

julito

Argentina

@ Tarita, it is a proven method ,

it is for this that I rarely complain . If somebody ask me how am i doing and i said that i have a tooth ache , ohh really? , you have to listen to my story . Then during 45 minutes i will have patiently hear all his ailments .The tooth ache was irrelevant to him. I am a lot more wise now , When i am asked how i am doing , y say… doing great , doing great.

tar1ta

Antarctica

@julito,

By the way, there is a tried-and-true method. If somebody tells you all their problems and you want to get rid of that person at last, just start complaining to that person about everything you don’t like and the plaintiff will run away from you :D

julito

Argentina

@tarita,
I agree with your statement , Why should I publicly wallow in self.pity, who cares anyway , people have already their own problems to deal with. But it is different when we trust a friend or family, then I might be willing to open up my heart.

tar1ta

Antarctica

It’s not just children who wallow in self-pity. Adults do it very often but we like pretending to be prosperous :). People may feel terrible, they are not always successful in love, in their work etc. But adults differ from children in being too proud to show their feelings.

@julito, that’s it! :D

ScienceBoy

Turkey

@julito, hi

The best explaniation indeed ;)

julito

Argentina

@Scienceboy , hello,

I was also pondering why Brian has chosen Human Anatomy among so diverse courses that are on the table for students. The only explanation that came up to my mind is that Brian is interested in knowing how the human heart works and to apply that knowledge to mend his broken heart.

ya9out

Morocco

Since seven moths ago till now, im in this situation have one’s heart set on, and i wallow in self-pity, im trying to find a solution to stop thinking and change but always i find myself in the same case, unfortunately.

ScienceBoy

Turkey

I agree with Shoba and Ditti, Brian is doing what seems the right thing to do.

Human Anatomy? It was my nightmare in college. Why would a science teacher had to memorize all the arteries and veins in the human body? Now I forgot all of them.

Djana

Algeria

yeah! i had my heart set on something that didn’t work and it was really disappointing for me! and i’m no doing something that i frankly don’t want to do it instead of what had a desire for,it’s life!

julito

Argentina

Brian’s feeling ? we all at one point of our life have gone through it. In my case I wallow in Self-pity but it doesn’t last much. After all, the ” function must continue”

Shoba

Sri Lanka

Brian’s feelings are quite understandable. It could be pretty frustrating when you have your heart set on something and it doesn’t work out for some reason.

But like Ditti, I also feel that Brian is heading in the right direction when he tries to keep his mind off Lily by switching to his other interests.

Very good, Brian! Way to go! Let’s not forget that there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

As for me, I always have my heart set on the wrong things and they never work out for me. But I don’t wallow in self-pity, I just take it easy and move on.