My life

What concrete job I will handle is not clear now except just will be involved in some budget forecast issues & maybe some analysis on cost.

I soon realized the inexperience in cost, a strong willing to catch up with it in LN. I turned on the former cost accountant’s computer and try to find something informative and helpful, but failed.

I then sent an email to the guy working in the software developing company Infor, he replied me but suggest me list out the questions I must understand but now is not familiar, so he can reply me for these simple one, for those whole concepts or procedure operations he suggest we had a face to face training… UK won’t approve it. So I begged him give me a quick reply only for those small questions like offering personal help to me.

I was trying to find some English financial analyst E-books will be good for me, but it not allowed to print, and cannot check dictionary directly. It’s inconvenient.

I hope to understand more before my new position, but just don’t know how to start.

We had an argument yesterday for the baby issue, my mother-in-law wants to get back her hometown, I really cannot understand.

When I am imaging my baby leaving me, I cannot see her for a long time, my heart was broken, my tears never dry. She is just such a little baby, cannot speak, cannot eating by herself, cannot pee pee by herself, cannot express her feeling, how can I let her go?

I must look for a babysitter, but it’s quite hard to find a suitable one. There are so many frauds in the market.

My mother-in-law is a picky eater, I am afraid if she brings my baby back to hometown, my baby will soon become a picky eater like his father. And she cannot speak Mandarin, how does my baby go to school if she cannot understand the other children’s word, and make himself understood. She may get worried and nervous and shy to speak, and hate to speak.

If she lives with us, I can tell stories each night, and make communications to her.

If I haven’t had this baby, I would like to divorce.

After I get married, and had the baby, I really know what a big mistake I made when I was young.

But no medicine can rescue me since I had the baby, I am responsible for the little baby.

My dear baby….

I was feeling bad in this weekend, I don’t know why I always have this feeling when I face my month-in-law, we have argument for something concerning the Child. She doesn’t like giving fruits to my baby, always returned to me as “she doesn’t like eating fruits”, but fruit is nutritious I should feed her time by time until she get used to eating it. If you don’t try, she never eat. But I tried a pear yesterday, she ate a full one.

She doesn’t like eating vegetables so didn’t give my baby vegetable too.

I do want to love her like I showed the love to my mother, but I cannot.

I hate to go back home now. everything I see is not happy…

This Sunday, he bought a laptop, I don’t know why doesn’t he ask the company pay for it? It’s for work. He told me he was eager to learn something, so need a laptop. I remember years ago we spent a lot of money bought a Toshiba computer but was stolen.

The last week for my current position, feel nervous for the new position, what will happen?

A lot of things need to be catch, especially some cost, I had no training for this, and no experience for this, but I was expected to do some analysis on this aspects. Try to find out the cost training documents but failed.

Something talked to you, it’s for working range, you smiled to me. I smiled to you.

Just a normal smile can make me happy.

A little feeling for waiting, but you didn’t show up.

The mobile phone was lost by my little baby, haven’t found it although we spend a lot of time searching it from the whole house.